Seen as I have absolutely nowhere to live at the moment and have failed my exams another year in Liverpool looks to be on the cards. I admit, I've jumped the gun a bit by Searching online for flat/house shares as I don't have results yet but there's no harm in being prepared, right?
A couple of days ago during my search I stumbled across a website called 'Pride Roommates'. I couldn't help myself so I followed each section and ended up signing up and to be honest, I'm kinda shocked at the whole set up of everything. I know looking for a room/roommate is a big deal because you're Gonna be living with these people but having to put down in-depth details in an intricate profile seems a bit far - one person's already asked me to send them a photo of myself. Apart from being in disbelief for a bit because of this it also makes me wonder - since when did searching for a room become so much like searching for a relationship?
This website also sports quotes from 'real' users who have successfully found the perfect place to live/person to live with. One even says that him and his flatmate started dating and are still together after 3 months, apparently eternally grateful that they found each other through the website. I just can't believe that a selling point for the website is that you may potentially find your other half as a by-product of finding somewhere to live. Am I the only person that thinks it just should not be done like that? I might be being narrow minded here as after all, our lifetyles are so fast these days that who's to say you can't skip the first few months of your relationship and move in with each other straight away? Weird.
I, however, will not be looking for love on flatshare websites for a number of reasons, one being that Ty is now officially my boyfriend. He came round Thursday Night, we went out and just happened to be where Shirtless Barman works for part of the night. Don't worry though, I wasn't all over Ty or anything. To the average onlooker we were just friends - I definitely wouldn't have stooped to that level - and the fact that shirtless barman was there had no effect on my relationship status. Although it's gonna look like that to a lot of people, I haven't just jumped to the nearest guy because I want to prove to everyone I can get a man.
Anyway, we were talking afterwards and I basically told him that I knew I wasn't going to France and that, staying in England, I would not want to see anyone else. This is all true. I turned a corner that night. Seeing Ty for the first time in 6 weeks jolted me a bit and pushed me in what I hope is the right direction. He said that he feels the same so we basically just agreed - obviously really romantic. The morning after I had a bit freak out. He was still asleep next to me and I couldn't help thinking thoughts like 'What does he expect from me now?' and 'What if this ends badly?' I'm absolutely terrified of a bad break up. I don't think I could deal with that. I've kinda got things under control in my head now though and have just decided to go with the flow.
I still haven't spoken to Dave. This is becoming far too drawn out for my liking. I'm worried that when I actually do speak to him I'll have forgotten why I was mad at him and not say any of the things that need to be said. I need to speak to him soon. I'm going out again tonight, seen as I obviously have nothing else to do, and I've got a feeling he's gonna be out as well. That'll be fun.
I also told one of my oldest friends I'm gay today. I was sat on the sofa comtemplating it after we'd spoken on the phone - he's just got back from America. I felt just as sick as I had done telling coming out to Amy almost two years ago. It just doesn't get easier. He's been acting so ok about it it worries me. I always want people to get everything off their chest and ask me what they want but he's just been like 'Yeah, whatever.' I'm gonna have to actually see him in person next week as he's insisting we meet up. Despite almost bringing my lunch back up at this thought I'm glad it's happened. It means I can actually be his friend again rather than avoiding him. This is progress.
My usual walking route to the train station takes me past a block of offices with always the same man at the reception desk. Since I came back to Liverpool four weeks ago the desk has been empty but Thursday night, walking down to meet Ty, there he was like he'd never been away. I hope this means that things are finally looking up.
