A drunkard went into a bar & starred at a woman continuously. She’s the only woman seated at the bar. He walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up & furiously slapped him. He right away apologized and explained, “I’m terribly sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look just like her.”

“Why you useless, intolerable, miserable, piece of sh*t!” she screamed.

“That’s Funny,” he muttered,” you even sound exactly like her.”