Pesach is about gratitude. When nobody cared, someone looked out for you. That’s why we remember it every year, even though they’re haven’t done anything cool in a really long time and have probably forgotten about you. Thanks Maxwell House!

Pesach is about going back home to spend time with your family because then you don’t have to be at a single’s seder and experience new feelings of wanting to kill everyone there. You can just go home where you feel the familiar warmth of shame and suppressed rage.

That’s why Pesach is really about our relationship with God. We don’t have to compare ourselves with our siblings who are married with kids and still have feelings of pride because they didn’t desperately hook up with gross girls. Why, you may ask? Because God loves all of us equally. When he saved us from Mitzrayim, did he ask us to have a conversation with him and maintain eye contact? No, of course not. He just flashed all his goodies and magically transported us to the promised land.

Because Pesach isn’t about holding your head up and being proud. Avraham said “Bameh Eidah”, “With what will I know?” And God answered “Yadoah tedah…” You’ll know when I send your grandchildren to Miztrayim for 400 years.

So when you’re enjoying yourself with your beautiful family, eating fried chicken you just bought from the Lancaster Mikvah at Hershey, maybe stop and think to yourself, “Am I stopping Mashiach coming by enjoying myself here?” Of course you are.

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