"Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight." - 2 Corinthians 5:5-7 (NKJV)

My job provides me with a cell phone that they pay for. Because of my always being in the road, It is inevitable that I am going to use the phone for personal calls, and I had programmed it with all of the phone numbers that I needed for friends and family. The phone that I had was going bad and I began to have problems with it, so they provided me with a new one yesterday. I was happy to finally have a new phone, with a lot of new features, empty and ready to program. However, I had no idea of the long emotional bridge that I would cross because of it.

Sometimes, we come across things out of the clear blue that remind of us of a time gone by. And occasionally, of people and places that are long gone. I found myself confronting such an experience today.

I spent the afternoon programming all of the phone numbers that I needed into my new phone without even thinking about it ... Multiple business related numbers, my close friends, and many others. Shortly before I reached the end of the day, I began to clean out the old phone and erase the numbers out of it, eliminating some that I no longer needed and some that I had already taken care of. Then I came across it ... My Dad's name and phone number. Out loud in the office I told some of them that I had just come across it and that I felt bad about erasing it. They just looked at me with a sense of sympathy as I told them that I had just never taken it out and that I had never thought about it. It had never crossed my mind. I found myself being drowned with a deep sense of melancholy and excused myself from the room.

I walked into the Men's restroom and stood there for a minute just looking at myself in the mirror. Slowly, it overtook me and I broke down for the first time since my Dad died. In my mind I remembered that the number had always been our number at home. I had grown up with it. It was the one way that everyone in town that we knew could reach us. However, when Dad died, we just let the number go. I am not exactly sure why other than our need to just let it go.

As I stood there, trying desperately to pull myself together, I remembered Dad ... and home ... and Mama ... and a whole deluge of experiences. I realized that this little entry in a cell phone was my last attachment to it all and that it was now time to let it go and move on. I didn't really realize that it was still all inside of me until that moment. I wished that I could that I could take that cell phone, and place one last call to my family so that I could tell them just how much I love and miss them. Although I know that they are all in Heaven together, there is still that little something inside of me that wants them to be here beside me.

The Lord allows these sorts of experiences to draw us to him. Through our sadness and memories, we should remember all that we have been through in our lives and all that God has done for us. He has brought me so far from where I was. We should also seek his guidance and remember that beyond this world there is something much better to go to. Those family members that know him as their saviour will be there waiting when we get there.

As I sit here writing this through my tears, I pray for comfort and once again I can feel the Lord's loving arms wrap me in His love. The Lord is always there when I need him. In my moments of sorrow, when I feel like everything is caving in on top of me, He is there to comfort and guide me. He is my best friend. I tell him all of joys and my deepest secrets, and he whispers peace to me. Without Him there to lean on, I don't know what I would do.

As for the phone, I left Dad's number in it and put the phone back in my pocket as I walked back to the office. I wanted to hold on to it all for just one more day.

"Lord, help me let this go today and move on. It's just a number in a cell phone, but it carries so much of my life with it ... and so many people that I love. Lord, comfort me as I grow beyond this and keep those that are gone and memories of home fresh in my mind."