Merry Christmas to you and yours, with peace
And joy and love — may all your borders increase —
Except for added inches around your waist —
Of all the pies and cakes may you get a taste.

May presents be just what you want and need,
The day be happy, and all your jokes succeed,
Consuming food without your gaining weight,
With only meat and carbs upon your plate.

May Christmas be the day of children’s laughter —
And adult naps, made necessary after
A full repast — And most of all, may you
Enjoy the gift of God — enjoy anew
The people he placed to celebrate at your side —
Together you’ll have the best yuletide.