“And without faith, it is impossible to please God”

This part struck me the hardest. As a young woman serving the church, it’s been very easy for me to simply Serve as we humans do. I know the basic answers to the basic questions like a well-rehearsed script. Who do you serve? Why do you serve?

But am I serving Him right? Knowing why you serve doesn’t really mean you apply what you know in service. Like in school, most of the lessons that you are taught are retained in your memory for the exam, but once school’s over, most of the lessons you’ve memorized are stored at the back of your head, ready to be brought up as an answer to a future question.

I’ve been serving the youth ministry for over 2 years now and the worship team for over 4 years. I’ve still got a lot to learn about service, I know, but I’ve already neglected the basic need. To serve God without faith, or with insufficient action to quench my thirst, does nothing for whom I serve. I believe in Him, but this is simply not enough.

“Because anyone who comes to him must believe he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him“

The struggle of having to constantly maintain action in seeking the Lord and His Kingdom has been clipping me at the heels ever since I started working. I used to go to church on Sunday and write up my daily devotion. Now I just go to church and get my weekly spiritual feeding there. It took me a while to notice the effects of this habit on my service.

I’ve always been a strong promoter of one’s quiet time in the youth ministry. In fact, that still remains as my number one solution for the discouraged spirit. Maybe you haven’t been spending time with Him, I say all the time, but I’ve only seldom admitted to myself that I haven’t been doing the same thing.

As my quiet time with the Lord began to disappear, I noticed drastic changes in the way that I served in the ministry. I’ve begun to feel “burned out” and noticed that my temper shot up really quickly when someone interrupts me during meetings or when someone tends to go another direction from where I was pointing. I’ve also noticed that I’ve easily given up the burden that I once had on the youth, which was to raise our numbers as well as our spiritual quality. I began to detach myself and thought lightly of the issues that my fellow youth members felt really burdened about.

Every problem thrown at me became personal and it was that easy to walk away.

Countless times this past year, I’ve prayed for forgiveness and for God to bring back that passion I once felt. He reminded me time and time again that I needed to seek in order to understand. His reminders, I placed on a lower priority and I feel ashamed.

Last week, one of our pastors was talking about loving God being the same thing as obedience. The way that I have been putting His reminders in a lower priority box only meant that I didn’t love Him as how He should be loved.

One cannot really serve God without understanding who He is and what He’s done for you. I love Him. I really do. And it’s about time that I come back to Him and listen. Listening to His instruction and following what comes after His own heart. I am not after the reward that he promises to give for those who earnestly seek him. I am after pleasing Him and giving back what I can.

The image at the top of this post will serve as a reminder for me everyday. Diligently seek Him, it says, and to diligently seek Him I shall.