Today I am going to get brutally honest with how I’ve been feeling lately, because this is what is on my Heart to write. I share this with you all in hope that it may bring light, love, and encouragement to some of you as well as it did for me. I’ve tried to write about various topics throughout the week but the words stopped coming to me each time. Perhaps because this is what he needed me to share.
Wednesday afternoon, October 17th.
I’m laying down on the couch while mom is putting a few things away in the kitchen. I sit in silence for around 15 minutes, trying to properly put my words together to try to explain how I feel. You see, I tell her everything. “So I’ve been in thought for most of the afternoon, I’m not sure how to explain this feeling, but ill try. I want to do more for God. I want to do more to be a light and reach more people. I want to do more to make God happy. I need to do more, there has to be something more!” Mom: “No you don’t.. that’s Satan trying to tell you that.” me: “But I don’t understand how that could be Satan.. I feel joy.. I just want to do more for God. How could that not be God?” And to be quite frank, I got extremely angry. (feel the joy, am I right?) I went to my room and slammed the door. I just sat on the floor of my room alone with my thoughts. I just couldn’t wrap my head around what was going on in my mind. How am I supposed to tell the difference, is it God or is it not? Then I started to realize the truth as the depressing thoughts began to enter.. “You don’t do enough, Carissa.” “You do know you probably don’t even help anyone right? You’re just ridiculous.” “You need to do more, what you do right now isn’t nearly good enough for God.” I went back to the kitchen and just stood there a moment, while mom finished what she was doing. “I just want to do more for God.. I need to do more, I don’t understand why you’re fighting me. I just don’t understand. I’m sick all of the time, I can’t hardly get up and do anything anymore. I keep trying to write but the words stop coming to me. I want to stop feeling so broken but I still feel the same at times. The lies just won’t stop. All I want is God and maybe I’m just not doing enough. I really am trying my best to comprehend what he might be trying to teach me through this but I just don’t get it.” mom: “You’re trying to do more, be more, and you’re trying to earn a closeness with God that you already have, It isn’t something you have to earn… You’re sick and tired of being sick and tired and I know exactly how you’re feeling. You’re restless in your spirit, just be close to him like you already are. You’re searching and trying to earn a peace that has already been given to you as his child. That’s what he’s trying to teach you, he’s teaching you that you are already enough, just as you are. Even when you have nothing to offer, even if you are always sick, even if this is what forever looks like. Just sit with him, be with him, spend time with him. Love him. That’s all he wants. Practice knowing that you are enough.” Then she welcomed me for a hug and just let me cry. My mother has got to be one of my biggest blessings ever.. she shines so bright for Jesus. In the moments before this conversation yes I was very angry and confused, a bit too much so to stop and say a prayer. But the Lord heard the unspoken cries of my heart and answered them for me. (Matthew 6:8 - “...for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”) After all of this sunk in I felt like all of the weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I have a lot to learn, but I think this was one step in the right direction. I hope this was able to help anyone who is struggling.. just as I’m starting to learn, just remember.
You are enough.
He knows your heart, he hears your cries, he loves you, and he knows that you seek him with all of your heart, and that is extremely precious to him. Don’t listen to the lies.
Here’s some bible verses that I would like to share with you. Like usual, I would recommend choosing one of them, or all of them, to memorize if you would like.
Romans 8:38-39 - “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Luke 11:9 - “And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
Deuteronomy 4:29 - “But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and all your soul.”
John 10:10 - “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
James 4:8 - “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you...”
Romans 8:1 - “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
James 4:7 - “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
1 Peter 5:8-9 - “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”
Just keep going. He’s got you. God bless.
Carissa Hendricks
Music is one of my favorite things ever.. I love trying to find songs I’ve never heard before by my favorite christian artists, and sometimes new ones, It’s just incredibly fun to me. This morning (Thursday lol) I was trying to choose what Song I wanted to put with this blog post and I found one that apparently just came out but It’s just incredible. I'm currently listening to it on repeat as I’m typing. It has such a wonderful message. I’m going to share the song, of course. But this time I’m also going to type my favorite part of the song for this post.
“Nobody” by Casting Crowns and Matthew West.
“Well Moses had stage fright, and David brought a rock to a sword fight. You picked twelve outsiders nobody would’ve chosen and you changed the world. Well, the moral of the story is everybody’s got a purpose. So when I hear that devil start talking to me saying, ‘Who do you think you are?’ I say I’m just a nobody trying to tell everybody all about somebody who saved my soul. Ever since you rescued me, you gave my heart a song to sing, I’m living for the world to see nobody but Jesus. I’m living for the world to see nobody but Jesus.”
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
The post You Are Enough appeared first on Renewed Daily.written by Carissa Hendricks
This post first appeared on Renewed Daily - Christian Devotionals Through The, please read the originial post: here
