Believe me, it's no time for words when the wounds are fresh and bleeding; no time for homilies when the lightning's shaft has smitten, and the man lies stunned and stricken. Then let the comforter be silent; let him sustain by his presence, not by his preaching; by his sympathetic silence, not by his speech. -George C. Lorimer
October 15 is the national day of remembrance for miscarriage, Stillbirth, and infant loss. I've lost nine precious babies to stillbirth and miscarriage. Much of what you read here can be applied more broadly to include other types of loss and pain.
Here is a video from Megan Devine, which a friend recently shared, that shares about what works for those grieving and why other things like "cheering them up" do not. It will better equip you to help the Hurting in your life.
When I lost one of my miscarried and stillborn babies, one of the things that helped me the most was someone telling me, "This sucks!!" I knew by their succinct words that they understood my pain. You don't need eloquence to show compassion. Your job isn't to move them to where you want them to be; it's to meet them where they are.
One of the most hurtful things ever said to me was by a Christian in law who told me less than 24 hours after the loss of my baby that crying was "self pity." Don't be like that. Crying is a normal, natural response to loss. Jesus cried in Grief too.
Please don't add your misplaced expectations to someone's struggle. You will only burden them further. Grief is hard enough. Acknowledge a person's right to feel as they do.
This life is very hard, but we can make it more bearable by being kind to each other.
One of the most hurtful things ever said to me was by a Christian in law who told me less than 24 hours after the loss of my baby that crying was "self pity." Don't be like that. Crying is a normal, natural response to loss. Jesus cried in Grief too.
Please don't add your misplaced expectations to someone's struggle. You will only burden them further. Grief is hard enough. Acknowledge a person's right to feel as they do.
This life is very hard, but we can make it more bearable by being kind to each other.
A pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself,
but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself.
-A.W. Tozer
but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself.
-A.W. Tozer
