He is visiting from New York. He's 19 years old and had never put on Tefillin before. When I called out for him to come put them on, he walked right over and said, "Yes. I want to put on tefillin."

     He was totally cooperative, asking me to explain to him the significance of tefillin.   

     I explained why and what they are, and after he read the Shema in English, I explained how important that moment was in his life, since it was the first time that he ever put on tefillin Hashem would listen to his prayers closely.

     When he came back from standing by the Kotel talking to Hashem, I asked him why he had never put on tefillin before… seeing how cooperative he was. He said that once, he was asked if he wanted to put on tefillin, and he said that he didn't.

     "The guy said, 'If you don't put on tefillin you're not a Jew!'

     "I got upset with him and walked away, but later I thought whoever asks me to put them on next time, I'm going to say, 'yes'".

      That's where I came into the picture. All I did was to invite him to come put them on and he came right over.

     What's the point? Had that guy who tried to put tefillin on him said the right thing, he would have put them on, but instead he said something unkind to him. Instead of bringing him in, he pushed him away!

     Remember, when you reach out to help someone, do it kindly. Not only are you dealing with someone from your family, but what you say, or don't say, can change his feelings toward Torah observance for the rest of his life!