When your beloved dies, you grieve two deaths - theirs and yours. No matter what you may think, you will never recover, nor will you ever return to whom you used to be. That part of your Shared life - your shared self - is gone forever. That empty space is now part of the new you. Grief is permanent, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But here's the thing. All of this is okay. It's okay because acknowledging your new life status is the healthiest thing you can do in forging a new way of being. In this new way of being lies your responsibility in finding new purpose, new joy, new happiness and new memories. Allow grief to always make you stronger and improved. It won't be easy and it will be painful. But you must do it! It's how you honor both deaths!