My challenge to myself lately has been to want less. You see, I really don't need anything. I have a bit of a shopping problem when it comes to clothes...I always seem to want clothes. It is bad, this clothes fetish, so bad that this year for lent, I gave up buying clothes. You may think it was easy for me, you are wrong. It was SO hard. You can't even go into Target or WalMart without having to pass by the clothes section. (I think they strategically place the women's clothes department in the front of the store.) Anyway, I always want clothes, but I don't need them.
I could make a list of wants, cds, books, concert tickets, etc. I could also make a list of needs, food, family, house, etc. Check out the difference between the two...pretty interesting eh? Then somewhere in between the two, or maybe not in between, maybe on a completely different playing field; lies the world of desires.
See I have a problem with people saying the word want...I don't think everyone stops to think of what that entails. For me a "want" is a short term thing. Something I feel I need now, but wouldn't actually need forever. When people ask me what I want I find it hard to answer them. Not often enough do I take the time to explain to them my viewpoint on the world of wants. I have several desires however.
Let me explain to you what I consider a desire to be.
Bethany's Definition of DESIRE:
A longing, an intense outreach for something; something that is etched into the heart and into the soul. Something that both you and God know will not leave your heart any time soon.
Here are some things I desire:
- I desire to have a family one day
- I desire to visit Mario in Honduras and hug him until he is blue in the face
- I desire to be more like Jesus
- I desire for people to see Jesus in me
- I desire to attend some kind of schooling in Australia
- I desire to work with youth on the streets, whether that be in Australia, Russia, the UK or the US
- I desire to love more deeply
- I desire to begin an art ministry (dancing, painting, singing, etc) for youth
These are just some of my deep rooted desires. Here is my latest and greatest desire: I DESIRE TO WANT LESS. I am going to try talking with Jesus more about my wants. When I think I want or need something in the store, I think I will attempt to ask Jesus for His opinion. I hope that this will decrease my wanting and increase my desires.
What are your wants and desires? Can you differentiate between the two?
You may be wondering where this train of thought came from...Well, I will share my logic with you. When I was in Chicago the other weekend, I was shopping with friends. We went into NM and skirts were $300 or more. A friend was saying, "I hope I have enough money to buy this stuff someday." Then, I just blurted it out, "I hope I never do. Because if I am spending $300 on a skirt, my priorities are messed up." I hope she didn't find me offensive.
I found myself slipping into the world of wants for awhile. Let me tell you where it landed me...Too many clothes to wear, costly credit card bills, stressed out and unsatisfied. I'm glad it was just a little trip I took to the world of wants, hopefully from now on I can enjoy my life in the world of desires.
Dear Jesus, help me to want less and to desire You more. Help me Lord to consult you first and the media never. Father, paint for me a clear line between the things I need and the things I want. Then Father, help my desires to increase and I would pray that my desires would bring glory to You. This is my prayer today and everyday. Amen.
