Websters Dictionary defines "Anxious" as this:
Main Entry: anx·ious
Pronunciation: 'a[ng](k)-sh&s
Function: adjectiveEtymology:
Latin anxius; akin to Latin angere to strangle, distress -- more at ANGER
1 : characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency : WORRIED
2 : characterized by, resulting from, or causing anxiety : WORRYING
3 : ardently or earnestly wishing
So, this word is on my mind this morning. I wonder however if it is on my Heart too?
I had a nightmare lastnight. Now, I don't usually remember my dreams, but I Woke up (I heard my roommate's alarm, thank goodness) absolutely terrified. I won't go into detail, but I was being "taken" and I was screaming, grabbing people as this man took me away and no one would help. No one. It was the Worst Feeling. I woke up with the worst feeling, I woke up afraid. My roommate thinks that dreams have meaning...I've never really thought that, but I've been wondering more lately if they actually do. If they do...What did this dream mean?
Do you find it interesting that the way anxious is defined, the first two definitions would indicate that it is a bad thing--but the third, not so much? I do. I think when was younger, I used to confuse being anxious with Anticipating. I don't confuse them anymore, but this morning I feel both things.
I'm anxious...for several reasons. First, a friend of mine is hurting, struggling and I hurt for him. I worry about him and yet there is really nothing I can do but prayer and support. My other friend is lost in this jungle of lies and bad relationships...My heart breaks as hers becomes more broken...Again, all I can do is speak truth and Pray. I had this stupid nightmare...Nothing I can do about it, but it makes me terrified of that fact that in two weeks I am traveling alone in Florida. Pray.
I'm anticipating this weekend. Going camping for the weekend with my best friend at a country music festival! I'm anticipating summer...Ah, the sweet sun, sound of the splashing lake and smell of trees and grass. I'm anticipating all the weekend trips I have planned and time with my friends from home at the lake; I really miss them today.
I'm trying to be anxious less and anticipate more. My friend Scherf was struggling with anxiety for awhile, we both gave up caffeine to help the problem. However, he suggested something to me that works sometimes and not others, but I like his train of thought. His suggestion to me was to pray about things I'm thankful for whenever my anxiety strikes. I suppose it kind of counteracts the anxiety.
So what is my heart today? I know it is heavy...I haven't quite figured out why. Is it filled more with anxiety or anticipation? I am thinking it has more anxiety right now and that's definitely not good. So here's my list of just a few things I'm thankful for today. I am thankful:
Main Entry: anx·ious
Pronunciation: 'a[ng](k)-sh&s
Function: adjectiveEtymology:
Latin anxius; akin to Latin angere to strangle, distress -- more at ANGER
1 : characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency : WORRIED
2 : characterized by, resulting from, or causing anxiety : WORRYING
3 : ardently or earnestly wishing
So, this word is on my mind this morning. I wonder however if it is on my Heart too?
I had a nightmare lastnight. Now, I don't usually remember my dreams, but I Woke up (I heard my roommate's alarm, thank goodness) absolutely terrified. I won't go into detail, but I was being "taken" and I was screaming, grabbing people as this man took me away and no one would help. No one. It was the Worst Feeling. I woke up with the worst feeling, I woke up afraid. My roommate thinks that dreams have meaning...I've never really thought that, but I've been wondering more lately if they actually do. If they do...What did this dream mean?
Do you find it interesting that the way anxious is defined, the first two definitions would indicate that it is a bad thing--but the third, not so much? I do. I think when was younger, I used to confuse being anxious with Anticipating. I don't confuse them anymore, but this morning I feel both things.
I'm anxious...for several reasons. First, a friend of mine is hurting, struggling and I hurt for him. I worry about him and yet there is really nothing I can do but prayer and support. My other friend is lost in this jungle of lies and bad relationships...My heart breaks as hers becomes more broken...Again, all I can do is speak truth and Pray. I had this stupid nightmare...Nothing I can do about it, but it makes me terrified of that fact that in two weeks I am traveling alone in Florida. Pray.
I'm anticipating this weekend. Going camping for the weekend with my best friend at a country music festival! I'm anticipating summer...Ah, the sweet sun, sound of the splashing lake and smell of trees and grass. I'm anticipating all the weekend trips I have planned and time with my friends from home at the lake; I really miss them today.
I'm trying to be anxious less and anticipate more. My friend Scherf was struggling with anxiety for awhile, we both gave up caffeine to help the problem. However, he suggested something to me that works sometimes and not others, but I like his train of thought. His suggestion to me was to pray about things I'm thankful for whenever my anxiety strikes. I suppose it kind of counteracts the anxiety.
So what is my heart today? I know it is heavy...I haven't quite figured out why. Is it filled more with anxiety or anticipation? I am thinking it has more anxiety right now and that's definitely not good. So here's my list of just a few things I'm thankful for today. I am thankful:
- That I have a job--A job that has summer hours
- That I feel at home in a faith community
- That I have parents who love me
- For the Minnesota Twins
- For the beautiful Minnesota landscape
- That I have amazing, supportive friends
- That I have everything I need
- For my dog, Tiny Bubbles
- For music and how at times, it seems to be the only earthly thing that can soothe my soul
- That my thirst for life and God is never completely quenched
BIG SIGH, much better. A nice thing happened while I was typing this, "big brother", called me on my work phone (it's always nice to have non-business calls on that phone) just to check in on me, since we didn't get to have lunch this week. It's good to feel important to someone. I think sometimes my anxiety comes from times when I don't feel important to people. Good thing I'm always important to God--eh? Today is going to be a good day.
Dear Jesus, please shower this day with blessings. Provide Moon & I with safe travel and fill our hearts with anticipation. Fill them also with joy--YOUR JOY. Help me to remember I am never alone and I am always blessed. Amen.
