It’s hard to remember just what happened early on when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex left the Royal fold and how the Queen felt at the time.

Since early 2020, all of that has been overlaid with interviews, books, podcasts and so forth.

However, let us cast our minds back, beginning with Katie Nicholl’s January 12, 2020 article from Vanity Fair, ‘”He’s Behaving Like a Teenager”: Inside the Breakdown of Harry’s Relationship with the Queen’.

Excerpts follow, purple emphases mine.

The Sussexes had just announced Megxit and a new life in Canada:

On Monday the royal family will come together for a face to face meeting to try and work out the next steps for Harry and Meghan, who sensationally announced last week that they are stepping down as senior royals. The Queen called the meeting after instructing her most senior aides to work with all the royal households in conjunction with the British and relevant foreign government officials, who are understood to be representing Canada. The goal is to find a workable solution for the Sussexes—but the damaged relationships within the family, particularly between Harry and the Queen, may take much longer to fix.

Initially the response among senior royals was of hurt betrayal and even fury that the couple would make such an important announcement without consulting the Queen. Now the family is working things out with the world watching, and the Queen is keen to find a resolution before irreparable damage is done to arguably the biggest brand in the world—the British Royal Family.

… it was, say sources, always the Queen’s hope that they wouldn’t step away from royal life completely.

“Perhaps it’s a generational thing, or the way she was brought up, but duty is everything to the Queen and she will find this the most upsetting part of all,” says one of the Queen’s closest confidantes.

The shadow of King Edward VIII’s abdication, which happened when she was ten years old, still looms large for the Queen. It is why, despite rumours she plans to hand over the crown to Charles next year, the Queen actually plans to serve until her death. Duty has been instilled in her since she was a young girl and the crown is everything to her, which might explain why one family source said that she was as much “perplexed” as she was hurt by what happened last week.

The fissures in their relationship with the Queen allegedly began before their wedding:

“At the end of the day she is 93 and this has been a genuine shock for her,” the source said. “After everything she has done for Harry she feels monumentally let down. All she has done is accommodate him and Meghan from the start. The family are all very upset at how the Sussexes have behaved, not least because of the impact it has had on the Queen, who has a very frail husband, the whole Andrew problem to deal with and now Harry, who is frankly behaving like a bolshie teenager. He has dropped a bombshell and left the Queen to pick up the pieces. It has not been great for their relationship. What was once a very warm and jokey grandmother grandson rapport has dissipated.”

The Queen has always had a soft spot for Harry (only he could persuade her to star in that wonderful spoof with the Obamas for his Invictus Games) but there is evidence that the relationship is not as close as it once was.

One source close to the Queen says her relationship with Harry came under immense strain in the run up to the royal wedding. “She was very upset by some of Harry’s demands and the way he went about certain things,” reveals the source. “He didn’t want to use the Queen’s staff for the wedding, he and Meghan brought in their own florist and cake makers, and Harry apparently asked the Archbishop of Canterbury to marry them before consulting the Queen and the Dean of Windsor, which wasn’t the correct way to do things.”

The source continued, “I think she was dismayed by his attitude in general and I remember speaking to her and her being rather upset by how beastly Harry was being. Their relationship was quite badly damaged by it all.”

There was the row over what tiara Meghan would wear. Harry got demanding with the lady from the Queen’s staff who kept the tiaras and the Queen gave him a private dressing-down once she found out.

Other things came to light:

She was apparently taken aback when the Duke suggested that the couple might live in a suite of rooms at Windsor Castle as their official residence. The Sussexes were politely but firmly told this would not be possible because Windsor is the Queen’s home. The Queen was also apparently upset not to be at Archie’s christening because the couple – who had kept the plans under wraps – hadn’t given her diary team sufficient advance notice. Then this summer the couple chose not to visit her at Balmoral when the Cambridges and the Queen’s other grandchildren traditionally go to Scotland for a short stay.

Even Christmas was an issue. The Sussexes were invited to Sandringham but the Queen apparently had to call them to find out if they were coming, only to be told they would be overseas.

Good grief.

The Sussexes say they had been sidelined:

But palace aides insist the Queen has tried to accommodate the couple and their many wishes, and has done her best to help Harry’s new wife feel welcome and at home since marrying into the royal family.

A Royal source said:

The Queen is always there to talk about family matters but when it comes to matters of monarchy and the institution it’s not off the cuff. It’s not just a case of popping over for tea to discuss it. Decisions made on things like that have ramifications for three generations going forward and time was needed to get this right.

What follows were some of the things going on in January 2020.

A Labour MP, Clive Lewis, called for a referendum on the future of the Royal Family:

News emerged that the Sussexes told Elton John of their wish to leave active duty as Royals before they told the Queen:

Dear, oh dear.

The Mail reported on William’s deep disappointment with his brother:

Prince William is desperately sad that the close relationship he once enjoyed with Prince Harry has soured, it was claimed by a friend last night.

The Duke of Cambridge has said he is unable to even ‘put an arm round’ his younger brother nowadays, after a rift saw them drift apart over the past year.

Harry and Meghan’s intention to quit as senior Royals has widened the gulf between the two siblings, with William understood to be ‘incandescent’ over his brother’s blindsiding of the Family …

He said: ‘I’ve put my arm around my brother all our lives and I can’t do that any more – we’re separate entities,’ according to the Sunday Times.

William also spoke of his frustration that Harry is no longer part of the ‘team’ by deciding to become ‘financially independent’ in a pared-back Royal role. 

Yet he hopes that there will ‘come a time’ when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will be ‘singing from the same page’ once again. 

The Queen, who was pictured ashen-faced behind the wheel of her Land Rover today, is also said to be concerned for the mental fragility of her grandson Harry. It also emerged the Duke of Sussex pulled the trigger on his abdication decision because he feared his wife, who had not settled well in the UK, was ‘on the brink’ and could suffer a meltdown if she remained in the country permanently. 

Anxious to avoid exacerbating an already tense situation, the Royal Family is keen to tread carefully. A source said: ‘There is no suggestion that they will be punished or stripped of their Royal titles or HRH status. Everyone wants to find a solution to this as quickly as possible’ …

After laying down a 72-hour ultimatum to aides on Friday to hammer out a solution to the Sussexes’ future roles, Her Majesty summoned Princes Charles, William and Harry to her Norfolk Estate to put an end to the turmoil ravaging the monarchy – while Meghan is expected to join the discussions via a conference call from Canada …

However, the Sandringham Summit will extend to the ‘next steps’ for the entire monarchy, which is staring down the barrel of its worst crisis since 1992’s Annus Horriblis, when both Charles and Diana, and Andrew and Sarah Ferguson both divorced.

The Mirror alleged the Sussexes put an announcement about their future on social media without consulting the Queen or Prince Charles:

It is claimed the couple consulted neither the Queen nor Charles on the announcement, made on Instagram and their own website, a step seen as impertinent and premature.

The press also reported that, during the Royal summit, Harry and Meghan planned to use WhatsApp to communicate privately:

On January 13, The Sun reported:

PRINCE Harry and Meghan Markle plan to communicate privately using WhatsApp during today’s Sandringham summit with the Queen, Prince Charles and William …

… Meghan, who is in Canada, hopes to take part via conference call.

But she and Harry will also use the encrypted phone messaging app to privately exchange strategies during the unprecedented negotiations about their desire to step back from frontline duties.

A royal source said: “They want to be able to chat one-to-one as the main players delve into the nitty-gritty of their breakaway.”

The summit, called by the Queen, is set to begin at 11am — which means Meghan will be taking part remotely at 3am in Vancouver, Canada.

Charles was yesterday in Oman on an official trip following the death of its sultan — but is confident of being back at the Queen’s Norfolk estate in time for the talks.

Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge at the time, shared her husband’s deep disappointment. According to The Sun:

Kate, 38, wore her hair back with sparkling earrings and a beige coat as she carried out the school run in the rain this morning.

She is not attending the crisis talks, which were called by the Queen after Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to quit the royal family, and is instead looking after her three children at home.

Kate is understood not to have spoken to Meghan for six months after cutting ties on a royal family WhatsApp group.

It comes after Meghan seemingly ignored Kate’s 38th birthday ­celebrations at Kensington Palace and flew back to Canada on Thursday.

Meghan and Harry, 35, were also absent for Kate’s birthday weekend at Sandringham last Sunday.

Later that day, The Sun reported that the Queen and Prince Harry had a private conversation before the family summit:

THE Queen spoke to Prince Harry at Sandringham before the Royal crisis summit as she pleaded with him to stay full-time in the Royal Family …

… the Duke of Sussex is understood to have arrived at Her Majesty’s Sandringham estate more than two hours before he was due to sit down with other senior Royals.

Harry wanted to put his side of the story to the Queen, who came into the crunch talks deeply saddened that he and Meghan wish to step back from their official duties.

Later on during the summit, Meghan’s participation was limited:

A well-placed source told The Sun that Meghan, 38, did dial in by conference call from Vancouver Island for some — but not all — of the meeting.

At the summit’s conclusion:

Her Majesty released a statement saying the couple will be allowed to step down from their duties and spend time in Canada …

The Queen said she was “entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan’s desire to create a new life as a young family”.

She has ordered staff to find a solution “within days” to the remaining sticking points, including the couple’s future funding.

The summit, which took almost four hours, included discussions of the couple’s titles, finances, security arrangements and how they will spend their time divided between Canada and the UK.

Prince Charles is said to have warned the couple they would have to fund their own lifestyles without tarnishing their titles or the Royal brand.

Just before 5 p.m. that day, ITV’s Royal editor Chris Ship was the first with the Queen’s preliminary statement:

Early the next day, on January 14, The Sun analysed what the Queen was really saying:

The monarch has taken an unusual step away from tradition to release one of her most personal statements to date following her grandson’s bombshell news. And, according to psychologist Jo Hemmings, her words reveal the “genuine sadness” and hurt she’s feeling.

While there are clues in the statement that she plans to strip the Duke and Duchess of Sussex of their royal titles, she also hints that she doesn’t believe their transition to living between both Canada and the UK will be a permanent one.

Jo says the “poignant message” reveals much of the Queen’s regret at her grandson’s decision, but there are also hidden clues that baby Archie was central in his parents’ minds when making such a drastic choice.

Meanwhile, royal commentator Victoria Arbiter agreed the Queen referring to Harry and Meghan by their first names could be a sign the couple will lose their royal titles.

She tweeted: “I do think it was very striking, particularly in a statement from the Queen.

“Are they having to give up their titles? This would be an indication they are.”

Royal author Penny Junor said: “I think it’s a positive statement. It sounds friendly and warm, the way the Queen talks about family so much.

“It read to me like a grandmother talking about the family.

“I think it will take the pressure off them. I think they’re in a very vulnerable state at the moment. I think they’re unhappy, they feel isolated and unloved, unappreciated and they needed careful handling.”

Royal historian Robert Lacey told BBC Radio 4: “It is remarkably hands-on. I mean it may have been processed through officials but this is the Queen, speaking to her people and speaking about her family, and I think coming right through it is the concern she feels.”

While experts agree the message is one of love and support from a devoted grandmother, many believe it offers more questions than answers.

Meanwhile, 1980’s pop sensation Boy George — George O’Dowd — felt betrayed by the couple’s departure and proclaimed ‘God Save the Queen’:

On January 18, the Queen issued another statement:

Following many months of conversations and more recent discussions, I am pleased that together we have found a constructive and supportive way forward for my grandson and his family.

Harry, Meghan and Archie will always be much loved members of my family.

I recognise the challenges they have experienced as a result of intense scrutiny over the last two years and support their wish for a more independent life.

I want to thank them for all their dedicated work across this country, the Commonwealth and beyond, and am particularly proud of how Meghan has so quickly become one of the family.

It is my whole family’s hope that today’s agreement allows them to start building a happy and peaceful new life.

It was followed by this fuller statement from Buckingham Palace:

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are grateful to Her Majesty and the Royal Family for their ongoing support as they embark on the next chapter of their lives.

As agreed in this new arrangement, they understand that they are required to step back from Royal duties, including official military appointments. They will no longer receive public funds for Royal duties.

With The Queen’s blessing, the Sussexes will continue to maintain their private patronages and associations. While they can no longer formally represent The Queen, the Sussexes have made clear that everything they do will continue to uphold the values of Her Majesty.

The Sussexes will not use their HRH titles as they are no longer working members of the Royal Family.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have shared their wish to repay Sovereign Grant expenditure for the refurbishment of Frogmore Cottage, which will remain their UK family home.

Buckingham Palace does not comment on the details of security arrangements. There are well established independent processes to determine the need for publicly-funded security.

This new model will take effect in the Spring of 2020.

The Mail ‘decoded’ (their word) the statements:

The opening line begins with a bombshell, revealing that Harry and Meghan have been discussing their exit from royal life with the Queen and other senior royals for longer than the public expected …

The phrase ‘many months’ is very revealing as it confirms the couple’s decision to break away was made a long time ago …

The Queen highlights her personal bond with Harry and refers to him as her ‘grandson’ emphasising her role as not just the monarch but also his grandmother.

The word ‘family’ appears four times in the statement which relates to the Royal Family and the family unit of Harry, Meghan and Archie. 

‘Family’ was also used six times in the heartfelt message she issued on Monday when she said she had reluctantly conceded to Harry and Meghan’s wishes. 

This reflects her sorrow because she and her closest relatives ‘would have preferred’ the couple to remain full-time Royals. 

The Queen hits a personal note by emphasising how Meghan, Harry and Archie will always remain ‘much-loved’ members of her family …

The statement has a deeply personal tone with the use of three ‘I’s’ and three ‘my’s’ throughout its five paragraphs …   

These ‘challenges’ have proved too much for the couple. They have been numerous: juggling parenthood with Royal duties, Harry’s feeling that he has struggled to cut out a defined role and Meghan missing her friends across the Atlantic. ‘Intense scrutiny’ undoubtedly refers to media coverage …

Keen not for Meghan to be considered a ‘bolter’ – the word famously used to describe Princess Diana‘s mother when she left her family – the Queen goes out of her way to speak of her pride in the 38-year-old Duchess and a desire to keep her in the embrace of the Windsor family. 

Here the monarch speaks as a head of the Royal Family as a whole, putting aside her personal feelings for the greater good.

After days of Megxit headlines and public concerns about the future of the monarchy, the Queen is adamant that she wants this statement to bring this sad episode in Royal history to a swift close.

Piers Morgan tweeted his appreciation to the Queen:

On January 20, The Sun ran several articles on the rift in the Royal Family.

In one of them, Royal veteran journalist Ingrid Seward wrote:

MAKE no mistake, as uncomfortable as her decision will have been, the Queen has played a blinder.

Our monarch of 67 years has read the mood of the nation expertly. We like — we love — our Queen here in Britain …

There is no royal halfway house — no one foot in, one foot out — as Her Majesty has rightly agreed.

So yes, we want back the £2.4million we spent on the renovations of a “cottage” which he will seldom live in. So far, so good.

A Sun poll indicated that nearly half of the British public would not miss the Sussexes. Forty-nine per cent would not miss them at all, and 47% would miss them. That latter statistic, however, needs to be clarified. Only 16% would miss the couple ‘a lot’. Thirty-one percent would miss them ‘a little’. Ergo, not overwhelming then. Four per cent did not know what to think about the Sussexes.

The Sun‘s editorial advised the Queen to inform the Sussexes that most Britons work a lot harder for a lot less.

Meanwhile, the paper told us that it was probable that the Queen still had her Christmas decorations up in that third week of January:

Most of us hurry to put the tree away by the Twelfth Night on January 5, but Her Majesty does things a little differently.

She’s said to keep her decs up until February 6, which marks the anniversary of her father’s death.

King George VI passed away at Sandringham, where the royals celebrate Christmas, on that date in 1952.

And the Queen tends to stay in the Norfolk estate to mark the anniversary in private with Prince Philip before returning to Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle.

While the prospect of a six-week Christmas holiday may sound like a dream, the Queen still works every day except December 25.

There are just two days-a-year when she doesn’t receive a red box from the government – containing cabinet documents, telegrams and policy papers to be read and sometimes approved and signed – Christmas Day and Easter Sunday.

The Queen has Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle decked out with huge 20ft Christmas trees and twinkling fairy lights, although these are taken down in January.

And don’t expect the Queen and Prince Philip to be enjoying such extravagant decorations right through January – the ones at Sandringham are said to be much more understated.

Meanwhile, at one of Harry’s final public engagements, he told the Sentabale charity in Africa that he ‘had no choice’ but to withdraw from public life (bold emphasis in the original):

Royal author Phil Dampier said that the Duke of Sussex’s loaded Sentebale speech was packed full of hidden messages about his future with Meghan Markle. 

Phil told Fabulous Digital: “Harry’s speech to the Sentebale dinner reminded me greatly of King Edward VIII’s abdication address. He even sounded like him at times!

“It was all about him, justifying his actions and admitting he had to give it all up for the woman he loved.

“The Queen had sent out warm words as a loving grandmother in her statement. But Harry threw this all back in her face by opening up on Sunday night” …

“So, I want you to hear the truth from me, as much as I can share – not as a Prince, or a Duke, but as Harry.”

The duke’s speech opened with him addressing Sentebale attendees as simply “Harry”, without his association to his titles …

The Duke made reference to his mother in his moving speech, but made the glaring omission of mentioning his father, Prince Charles.

Phil said: “I always think people are going a bit potty when they start talking about themselves in the third person as Harry did.

Whatever the case, Harry remained a thorn not only in his father’s side — even now as we approach Charles III’s coronation on May 6, 2023 — but also his grandmother’s until her death on September 8, 2022.

However, happier moments marked the Queen’s life.

More on those tomorrow.