Being totally free to have a choice on what I want, not being in a hurry to do this and do that. I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I was in a 12th step program. For the first 7 years I was really happy. I ended up getting pregnant and getting married. In that marriage, I felt like I was being controlled. He kept asking me when I was going to change. What I just thought of is that "God Loves Us Just As We Are" It's like when I first starting working out at Maybelline, my Aunt Sue worked out there and my Dad bribed me and told me that if I went out there he would treat me to the horse races. First mistake is doing what other people wanted me to do. Just thinking about now I never made a serious decision on my own. I have always had trouble making my own decisions always afraid of what others would think about me. What other people thought about me was more important than what I thought. I allowed other people to run my life I was like a puppet on a string. It is like a new vision and clarity. It's like God knocked on my head and said "this one is ready"