This is a Book I read in 2014, and I wrote an Amazon review summarizing the book. I am copy-pasting it here, in case the Amazon review gets deleted. I still agree with this book.

Summary

If emotions could speak, they would say these things:

1. Fear: My existence is under threat.
2. Anxiety: I feel inadequate. I doubt myself.
3. Anger: Someone has been unjust towards me.
4. Hostility: I doubt myself now/I feel inadequate. Therefore, I hereby accuse this person/group here for making me feel that way. 5. Now it is a case of “this person/group is being unjust towards me”.
5. Chronic & covert hostility: This person has a positive trait. That is not a good thing. Points must be scored. Said person ought to feel discomfort, guilt or self doubt.
6. Depression: I want something, but I don’t think I can ever have it.
7. Distrust: [Self explanatory]. This person cannot be trusted.
8. Momentary envy: I want that. I wish I had it. I ought to act to earn/deserve it someday.
9. Chronic envy: Strong people are evil. They violate my rights. They are just lucky. They just have “connections”.
10. Happiness: I have achieved that which I acted to gain and keep.
11. Love (varying degrees of): I love valuing this person who values me.

It is not wrong to feel, nor are emotions always right. Emotions can be false alarms or repressed unnecessarily, neither of which are desirable nor avoidable in the long term. The healthy strategy to deal with emotions is to:

1. first translate it into abstract narrative as listed above,
2. and then add specifics to the narrative above as to who/what is causing the emotion,
3. and then see if the emotion is legitimate or a false alarm.

If the emotion is a false alarm, fear not. Just as our senses delude us with illusions about the real world (e.g. optical illusions, auditory illusions, feelings of phones vibrating, or insects/reptiles crawling), emotions can be illusions too with no basis in a factual evaluation of reality. False emotions should be realized as such before we start slowly and habitually ignoring them.

If the emotion has a legitimate basis, then do not repress it. Venues must be sought, and actions must be chosen to react to real emotions. (e.g. righteous anger against real injustice). There is no need to be guilty for feeling emotions with a basis in reality.

The bottom-line is to always seek the reasons for your emotions, because if left unchecked, emotions can take a life of their own, and become a “floating abstraction” in your mind with no cause or narrative attached to it.

That is what Edith Packer teaches in this book. Even before I read this book, I used to do the tips said in this book. It was for this reason I was able to retain my sanity in high stressful situations.