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Hostage in a Box

Tags: dream lion began

"Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.”

Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

If I recall correctly I remember being a child with a vivid imagination. There was once a place that I would visit where my imaginations and dreams ran wild – a place where I didn’t mind dreaming – a place where I escaped reality to a place that I could only imagine. I loved being in that place. It was always a place that I belonged. In that space, I knew what I wanted to be and who I needed to be. Life stopped and for once, life was unable to throw curve balls.  I controlled the pen that gracefully imprinted on a blank canvas. If only those dreams could bubble over into my reality. I was never able to bring my dreams over into the everyday life that I live in. I had these vivid imaginations, huge dreams, and promising aspirations. But what I stared at was a life with broken promises. I wonder at what point did I figure that life was full of broken promises.
Growing up young and free, my thoughts ran wild! Like a Lion free in the wilderness. Every leap the lion made its visions, dreams, and goals run even wilder. Every time the lion leaped, and its paws imprinted the ground, the dreams became attainable.  I became a force to be reckoned with. I was a girl with power at my fingertips. I was not even able to recognize the power that I possessed. I had the ability to be who I always wanted to be. I was able to make my dreams come true. Every time the lion ran free, it became a lion hungrier for more.
The running stopped! I was forced to stop in mid tracks unable to leap anymore, unable to run free and wild. I became a coward hiding behind trees and bushes not wanting to take another leap. Life took over my free mind. My mind was once the only place that didn’t keep me chained like a dog walked by its master. Life had now figured out the equation and was able to stump me. Life halted my dreams and suffocated my visions. I was grasping for air, desperately searching for those wild dreams that I once posed. Instead my mind was cluttered with no place to dream and no room to run wild. Adulthood had cluttered my space, and I was given no opportunity to slide a book over to make room for it. Life intruded placing my vision at the back of the book shelf where non-interested books sat, and spiders and cob webs were present. I was now a cowardly lion placed in a small size box. I allowed life to tell me how I should fit inside the box that life created for me.  
I Began to feel like there was now a battle. To the left sat Life and to the right sat Me. I sat there scarred, unable to breathe and unsure if I could handle this battle. Had I prepared for this fight? Did the visions mean this much to me that I would suite up and battle for this? My thoughts became so clear, as if my mind had its own voice. I began to listen to what my mind was telling me. I began to believe the things that my mind was saying. I started to reconfigure myself so that I could fit inside this one size fits all box. The box never made room for me, but I started to change me to fit inside this box.
I sat in this box, isolated and afraid, with a missing piece cut out of my heart. Unaware what the missing piece was, I revisited the scenes that were captured in my life. I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. But still I sat starring at a gaping hole that was illuminating in my heart. I was empty from pouring out so much that I got lost while on my journey. Life had consumed me, and I wanted to be a hoarder, still holding on to that little girl whose thoughts ran wild like a lion in the jungle.
Still in the box I tried to regroup and pick up the missing pieces that was knocked right out of my unstable hands. It was almost impossible to locate the pieces while I sat cramped up inside this one size box. I bickered and complained, “This can’t be life!”
I waited while still in the box… I prayed while still in the box... I waited…
God began to have me doing tasks while still in that box, tasks that my natural mind couldn’t understand. Things that the natural eye would see as impossible. I stopped listening to what my mind was saying and stopped believing what my natural eye was seeing. It was my intellectual mind that placed me here. I began to work the tasks that God gave me. Slowly the dots began to connect. As if I was a child looking into the dark sky full of stars trying to find the big dipper. One by one I would follow one star to the next. Each step that I now take, my vision becomes clearer.
Oh! And that box that I sat in now widens with every task that I complete from God.
My passion arises, and I am again a force to be reckoned with, but I now know that the force is not all me, but all God. He keeps the vision in my focal view and I run now with purpose. I don’t only have random imaginations, but now I have a vision birthed from God.
Check out these scriptures!
Proverbs 18:16
A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 

This post first appeared on While Going Through The Transformation, please read the originial post: here

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Hostage in a Box


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