The only person that can really attest to my transformation is my husband. He found me at such a Broken state, he probably didn't even realize how broken I was.I showed signs I was broken, and my actions screamed let me be. But he was persistent. I wonder if he saw me broken, full of baggage. Two kids and divorced. I thought what did he want with me? He was the man I prayed about, but still I wanted him to leave. I played emotional games with him, and still he Stayed. I had an excuse for every action and roller coaster I firmly strapped him on. I even questioned why was he still here? I would scream, start arguments, and place the blame on him. I would scream, "I am broken," and he would just look with loving eyes and stay.At that time I think it hurt worst that he stayed. A person saw me more valuable than how I saw myself. I thought I was incapable of loving anyone, but I still wanted to try. I wonder how he Stood in my storm. He grabbed an umbrella to embrace the storm, but I would yank that away. I wanted him to feel how broken I was, I wanted him to see I was no use to him. I wanted him to feel all of my emotions, but my mouth would still say, “Don't go!”I wonder where we would be if he followed my emotions and dared to close his eyes to the value that I possessed. I was lost in a maze that was entitled, "My Life." It would be nice to say that he was the door that let me out, but he wasn't.We were both in transition to what God is calling us to be, but God still used him. Instead of being the super hero and saving me, my husband taught me how to save myself. Easier said than done! I know how difficult this was for me but I can only imagine how it felt to be a punching bag. For every pain I felt I threw a blow. Blow after blow he still stayed. He didn't stay with his mouth shut, he didn't give me a pity party, and he didn't rub my back and say it was okay. He stood and continually updated my picture. He stayed not because he felt sorry for me but he stayed because he saw the value in me.He crushed the foundation that was ever built and he started to manually rebuild that foundation. Whenever he spoke the Word of God into my life, he placed another brick down. I'm unsure if during the quiet times, he went to God with despair wanting to quit. I know I did. My husband was so brave, he dared to love, based solely on faith. I thank God for sending me someone that saw my value, even when my actions gave no hope. He stood there firmly grasping and clutching on God’s words. When my wrath came he held on. When my rain poured in, he stood firmly. He didn't allow me to tell him what I was or the qualities that I possessed. But instead he allowed God to dictate who I was.It's easy to fall in love with someone who possesses all the "right" qualities. But would you dare to love based solely on faith?
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