We as Christian women all strive to become the Proverbs 31 woman!  It is that lofty goal I think all of us want to attain.  But what about the Titus 2 woman?

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What would you tell yourself if you could write a letter and send it back in time?  Think about all the advice and wisdom you now possess that you would share with your younger self.

I don’t believe in having regrets.  Everything in life is a lesson.

But there is a lot about my life I would have advised myself to do differently.  I would have learned to cook much sooner (or at all!), I would have learned how to manage finances, the list goes on and on.

There are many mistakes I could have avoided, that’s for sure.  But mistakes are ok!  We learn from them and grow from them and hopefully pass those lesson on to others!

I Wasn’t Taught

I wasn’t taught how to be a wife.  I wasn’t taught how to be a mother.  I had to learn everything the hard way.

I got married at 19 and divorced at 21 with a baby!  There was nothing wrong with my husband or even with our marriage.  We are still friendly even today!  I just didn’t know how to be married!  I didn’t know how to handle conflict.

The day after I got married we got in our VW Bug and drove from New York to Virginia because he was in the military.  I had no one there to guide me or help me through what, in hindsight, were normal marital issues.

I was isolated and alone!

I have so much advice and wisdom gained through trials that would have spared my younger self (and others) so much pain and heartache.

But that advice and wisdom is not wasted.

You see..we all want to aspire to be Proverbs 31 women but we are not to stop there.  Some see that as the end game, the crowning achievement.  But it’s not!

We are to learn those lessons to go on and achieve what Titus 2 calls us to:

“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things – that they admonish the young women to love their husband, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2:1-5 

We are to conduct ourselves appropriately so that we can then mentor younger women (whether they be our daughters or younger women within the Church).  We may not be able to send those letters back in time to ourselves but we can BE those letters, living epistles if you will, to other women and help them go on to be the wives and mothers they aspire to be!

We have a Biblical responsibility to mentor younger women as we grow older.

Lessons Wasted

If I am not actively mentoring people, if I am not actively teaching young women and girls what I have learned from the mistakes I made along the way and I sit back and watch them make those same mistakes, then not only have I failed to be obedient to the Word but ALL those lessons I have learned benefit no one but me.

Even worse, someone could experience a hardship that I could have possibly helped prevent.

It is very difficult to open up and share your failures…your failures as a wife, a mother, a daughter.

It is tough to do!!

But those failures, those mistakes, come with invaluable wisdom gained.  Our mistakes are not in vain!!

They could be simple mistakes.

Like when I was first married, I thought it would be ok to use dishwashing soap in the dishwasher.  After cleaning a ton of suds off my kitchen floor I quickly learned that it was not a good plan.

I have shared that nugget of wisdom with my daughters.  They will never do that thanks to my experience (and hopefully the fact that they have more sense than I did!).

Then there are bigger, more painful mistakes to share.  Those are not as easy or as hilarious as suds on the floor but they are more valuable.

If you are a young woman just starting off in life, then strive to be that Proverbs 31 woman.  Will it always go as planned?  No!  It’s a challenge!  Will you mess up?  Plenty!  And there is nothing wrong with that!!  It is through those messes that God refines us and makes us who we are so that we CAN share with others!  He gives us grace to pull through them and learn from them!

Every time you slip up, it will be a lesson that one day your daughter or your niece or a young woman in your church could learn from.

So don’t make becoming a Proverbs 31 woman the goal line for yourself…make it a stepping stone to being that much needed,  valued, wisdom-filled mentor that so many young women need today.

What mistakes have you avoided in life because someone older and wiser mentored you through it?  And what lessons have you learned from the mistakes you made through life (we all make them and that’s ok) that you can share with younger women?  Share in the comments!

Some other posts you might enjoy:

MARRIAGE – ARE YOU A THERMOMETER OR A THERMOSTAT?

GOD WHY AM I SO OFFENDED?

FEELING BROKEN – LESSONS FROM A BROKEN PLATE

I QUIT – HOW FEAR OF FAILURE KEPT ME FROM FINISHING

CHRISTIANS & BODY IMAGE

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