A relative of mine from a different city wanted me to let her borrow one of my shirts, so that she could figure out what my exact size was. I gave her one of the button up shirts I wear frequently (like once a week, or once every couple of weeks) from my suitcase, as a reference for what fits me perfectly, because she insisted on sending me some traditional clothes only available in her city.

My shirt isn’t anything extravagant or spectacular, but it has been through a lot of major events in my life with me (college, graduation, ups and downs of life) over the last three years, and has become naturally altered over time and many washes to my own body.

To my surprise, I received a picture message from a different cousin who was wearing my shirt, and I was surprised at the intense emotional reaction that I had to that.

I’m usually a very giving person, and I often try to go out of my way to give to others whatever they want or need. I’m not someone that grips on to material possessions so tightly, but for this instant for some reason when I saw that photo of him wearing it, I felt a sudden stab in my solar plexus area.

It felt as though I had been infringed upon, and I was taken aback at how visceral my reaction was at something that normally wouldn’t be a big deal to me. I know that my “me”ness permeates it, and I don’t know why it felt slightly like losing a limb or an old friend. I’ve already decided that it won’t be right for me to ask for it back, and in my mind I relinquished my ownership over it.

I love the cousin of mine who was wearing my shirt, and I would send him a hundred such shirts if he asked, without any hesitation. I just feel like maybe there is some lesson here I need to understand about attachment and letting go, and why I reacted the way I did.

Can anyone give me your perspective or insight on why I had the reaction I had? When I don’t feel attachment towards most material things, why did I feel as though I had been slapped, by something so trivial?

How can I relinquish even my ownership over things that are so personal to me?