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How do I frame my differences with the girl I am dating, through a Buddhist lens?

Hi :) I am having a hard time knowing if this girl is right for me, in a long term sense, and I have also been learning about Buddhism lately. As I want to learn more about myself and myself in relationships, I naturally want to understand my current challenge with this girl and Buddhism may help, I just am not sure how if its at all relevant.

Me and her are 30 and this summer we met up and got romantic. We went to school together since 3rd grade, and although we have a lot in common I have a tough time being intellectually challenged by her, and our level of communication is not as deep as my conversations with many others. She is really into yoga, and generally is very laid back and semi-spiritual. Where I am from we have very direct and open Conversation (not like in the US, where she is from) and I am not sure it is related but she is not critical of much. This leads me to think her critical thinking skills are not very good.

When we talk, she accepts everything and anything I say, and I hear lots of "Yeah" and "Oh ok". What I actually want is an active conversation, where the other person draws from experience or opinion to develop the conversation, and very likely disagreeing with things that I have to say and to present their way of thinking about it. This does not happen at all with her...conversations are kind of dull to be honest.

On paper, everything else is great, I am very attracted to her (as much as one can be with zero intellectual lust) we have great sex, are both open people who on paper would make a great couple. Maybe I can use this as an opportunity to learn about myself and Buddhism? Are there aspects of Buddhism that would help you if you were in such a situation?

She wants to move to where I live and I am just not sure how to overlook what I think about her, otherwise I would be so down for a relationship.


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How do I frame my differences with the girl I am dating, through a Buddhist lens?


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