We are far more ¹broken than we know - and are willing to admit - but also far more Loved than we can ever imagine or hope for - or usually willing to believe.
Why do we have trouble believing we are fully loved?
To open ourselves to love also puts us at risk of losing it.
We so greatly long to be fully and deeply loved, we fear ²losing it if we ever find it. We believe it's better to never be loved than to powerfully experience love and lose it.
We fear if someone knew all our faults they would reject us and no longer love us. Why? Because admitting to or being seen with all our flaws usually results in rejection.
The more we know we are loved - regardless of our flaws - the more we can admit ("own") them - not only to the one who loves us but to ourselves as well.
We can't and won't fix something if we don't think or know it's broken. And we can't admit our brokenness until we know we will not be rejected for it. Once we feel safe to admit our brokenness, we can be more honest with ourselves (and others) about our shortcomings.
When we are loved in ³this way we desire to bring joy and honor to the only One who loves us this way. We delight in doing all we can to make them proud to be in a relationship with us.
¹We are not broken in the sense that we no longer have natural abilities, talents, or resources but in how we use these, i.e. do we use them to self-comfort instead of bringing comfort to others as we were *designed to?
Self-comforting is so common it is considered normal, not broken. We not only embrace it but applaud others who do as well. "Loving ourselves" has become a cultural mantra in the West when it is the primary evidence and expression of brokenness.
Why do we have trouble believing we are fully loved?
To open ourselves to love also puts us at risk of losing it.
We so greatly long to be fully and deeply loved, we fear ²losing it if we ever find it. We believe it's better to never be loved than to powerfully experience love and lose it.
We fear if someone knew all our faults they would reject us and no longer love us. Why? Because admitting to or being seen with all our flaws usually results in rejection.
The more we know we are loved - regardless of our flaws - the more we can admit ("own") them - not only to the one who loves us but to ourselves as well.
Why does love free us? We are no longer concerned that admitting our brokenness will result in rejection. We know we are loved regardless of how broken we are.
Love is the fuel of growth and change. Why?
Admitting our faults to ourselves and others is vital to our maturing.
Admitting our faults to ourselves and others is vital to our maturing.
We can't and won't fix something if we don't think or know it's broken. And we can't admit our brokenness until we know we will not be rejected for it. Once we feel safe to admit our brokenness, we can be more honest with ourselves (and others) about our shortcomings.
We can admit our faults only to the extent we know we are loved despite them.
For a discussion on loving yourself click here and here.
For a discussion on what it means to be broken click here.
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¹We are not broken in the sense that we no longer have natural abilities, talents, or resources but in how we use these, i.e. do we use them to self-comfort instead of bringing comfort to others as we were *designed to?
Self-comforting is so common it is considered normal, not broken. We not only embrace it but applaud others who do as well. "Loving ourselves" has become a cultural mantra in the West when it is the primary evidence and expression of brokenness.
Our need to love ourselves is only because we have rejected God, the very source of love. How? Whenever we look to or go to something other than God for love, we are telling God we can do better at finding and experiencing love on our own than we can from Him, when only God is the source of love, life, and all things.
*We are in God's image, designed to be like God, which is to be other-focused - i.e. to give, not take. The more we give, the more we are like God and the more we partake of and experience Him, i.e. experience love flowing to and through us to others.
We justify getting or taking because we think it will make us happy - more complete and whole. Short-term it may, but the ultimate solution to our need for love is not taking but receiving. God is primarily what we need, but we refuse to receive what he offers, i.e. His infinite affections offered to us in and through His Son Jesus.
We reach the highest level of our design - God's likeness - when we give. But not to get but simply for the joy of seeing others receive life. And we can only give as God does when we are receiving love from the One who is the ultimate source of love, God himself.
²This approach believes you can't lose what you never had to begin with.
There is a saying that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
We justify getting or taking because we think it will make us happy - more complete and whole. Short-term it may, but the ultimate solution to our need for love is not taking but receiving. God is primarily what we need, but we refuse to receive what he offers, i.e. His infinite affections offered to us in and through His Son Jesus.
We reach the highest level of our design - God's likeness - when we give. But not to get but simply for the joy of seeing others receive life. And we can only give as God does when we are receiving love from the One who is the ultimate source of love, God himself.
²This approach believes you can't lose what you never had to begin with.
There is a saying that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
But what if you never love again? All you have is the painful memory of not having something (love) you still need and long for. Is this not the essence of hell itself?
³God alone consistently loves us in this way. Only he is perfect and infinite love.
