What is the difference between being accepted (received by) someone and pleasing them i.e.  bringing them joy?

God fully accepts us

We are told God fully accepts us in Christ. Nothing we do, say, or go through will make this more or less so than it already is. In the eyes of God, we are perfect and fully loved as if we are perfect (even though we are not).

We can please Him 

However, as our loving Father (parent), he is always delighted when we faithfully pursue Him and His directions (commands). This doesn't mean he loves us more for doing so, it means we experience and participate in His love more fully which brings Him greater joy.  

This isn't hard to understand when we consider our own kids. Because they are our kids who we love dearly, we always want what's best for them no matter what. In fact, when they go down a path we know is *not good for them, our love is expressed even more by the ache it causes us. We simply do not want our kids to be harmed *if at all possible. 

And when they return and acknowledge they have been on the wrong path, are we not delighted? Yes, but why? Just as the father of the prodigal son was delighted to see his son return - so much so that he ran to him when he saw him a far way off (why do you think he spotted him so far away? He was scanning the horizon hoping and looking for his return). In this way our heavenly Father delights in us when we return to pursue and honor him.

If this is the kind love we have for our kids - imperfect as we and our love are - how much more so is this the kind of love our perfect heavenly Father has for us.

7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:7-11

For a discussion on whether God's love is conditional or unconditional click here  

For a discussion on being under grace and not the law click here

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*we know that pain can be a good teacher, so we may allow our kids to make mistakes and simply make ourselves available to comfort them when they return and seek it.  

As a child, when my dad spanked me, he would say something like "this hurts me more than it does you."  I would think to myself "sure it does dad" having no idea what he meant. Once I had my own kids I understood. He was inflicting a smaller pain to prevent me from experiencing a much greater pain if I continued on the destructive course I was on.

When my kids were young we had a golden retriever named Buddy. Though he was a great dog he had absolutely zero street sense. He had wandered into the street on several occasions and at this point had been hit at least 3 times. As a result he was once laid up for almost a month from one incident. 

One day he had gotten off his chain and had bolted for the street. I ran after him screaming "stop Buddy" and was able to grab him right before he ran into traffic. I yanked him into the yard and grabbed a small branch from the tree and swatted his backside until he yelped. My 2nd son yelded "stop! You're hurting him, dad." To which I replied, "exactly!" Then I explained to David by causing Buddy a little pain it may prevent him from going into the street again and getting killed. I asked my son which was more acceptable to him, for Buddy to get killed or to experience a little pain now that might prevent him from being killed in the future. He got it. 

God desires our highest good and knows that He alone is that highest good and we experience him most fully in our faithful pursuit of him. When we vear off that path He will either allow us to suffer the consequences (if they are not too severe) so we learn to more faithfully pursue him or deliberately and directly chasten us - remember it is those who God loves that he corrects. However when we are faithfully pursuing him, this pleases him because he knows it not only brings him his highest and rightful honor but also is our greatest good. This has nothing to do with whether he does or doesn't accept and love us and everything to do with the fact that he already perfectly does in Christ. The fruit of knowing we are perfectly loved is faithfullness to the only one who loves us perfectly.