Why do we seek out relationships with other people? We are designed for Relationship, but other people only give us part of what we long for - love.
Why only part? Because we are designed for infinite love that is uninterrupted and everlasting. Anything less will not do and give us what we long for most. Finite beings - i.e. fellow humans/image-bearers - can not offer infinite love. Only the infinite Source/Creator of that image can.
Love carries the greatness weight and is most significant if the one who gives it is significant, important, beautiful, powerful, etc. The more significant and important they are, the more weight and impact their love has, and the greater we desire it.
Humans are far more valuable than *things or **animals because they are like God in a way these other things are not. But God is most significant of all. To have his love is the greatest because He is the greatest. His importance, love, beauty, and power are without end or limit.
Yet we opt for love that has limits and will eventually cease and not continue forever. Why?
God is the least controlled. In fact, we can't control him at all. So we opt for a lesser source of love in hopes of controlling it-them. We prefer being our own God to partaking in what we need most.
Instead of trusting the only true God, we trust ourselves and those we think we can control. The irony is we can never obtain by and for ourselves what we truly need even if we had complete control over them - which we never do. We, and others, are finite while our need is infinite, because we were created for the infinite.
We participate in this dance with others in hopes of winning their love, acceptance, and approval. This is conditional love. This is love we must earn and love that continues **only if we can make it so. This is about love we gain for ourselves by trying to manipulate others to give it to us. This is exhausting and never works long-term i.e. usually in this life but especially into eternity.
It also goes contrary to who God intends us to be. Any time we engage in a relationship in order to be emotionally stroked and gain love we are not operating in the spirit i.e. We are not operating by God's love and in our love for God and our neighbor.
Relationships are important, but without being connected to the Source of relationship and all things, we can never be whole/complete as God intended and created us for.
For a discussion on the fountain and foundation of relationship, click here.
For a discussion on why we long for relationship click here.
For a discussion on unhealthy relationships, click here.
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*Things are valuable only to the degree they can be used to gain the admiration and attention of others i.e. They are the means of obtaining a sense of value from something more valuable than the things i.e. others.
**As our society becomes more damaged and we become less trusting of our fellow humans we gravitate towards pets. We can control them better and ensure they give us something of what we want.
Also, when our dog is excited to see us, this is great and brings us joy, but what if a highly recognized person we admired was just as excited to see us? Would that be more significant?
*** We can experience a limited degree of unconditional love through others but only if they are plugged in and receiving God's unconditional love themselves. But even this too is limited simply because humanity is finite, even when they are most plugged into the Infinite.
All relationships are the same in that they gave us a sense of value and significance. The difference in relationships is the manner in which they give this to us i.e. the form or kind of love the offer Whether that be friendship, companionship, a partnership, physical love, camaraderie, etc.
