No scripture today, just thoughts.  I have many that don't approve of my lifestyle, but love me anyways.  This is hard as I can't just talk about it openly.  I have to skirt the subject.  I so wish though that these people would turn to affirming.  I support their heterosexual life.

I know that I could just let them be, but they are missing out on big parts of my life.  Like I can't talk about the amazing women I talk to or dates or anything that reaffirms that I am gay.  It is like it cuts a part of me away.

You would think that by now we would be more affirming, but no, not yet.  Yes things have come a long way in society, but not in the church.  No matter how much I suggest books to read. It does not happen.  No matter what scriptures I say, it falls on deaf ears.  No matter what, some just don't accept it.

You may be thinking just drop them if they can't accept all of me, but then I could not testify to them that Christian Lesbian is a real thing.  And besides, we are not talking acquaintances but family and life long friends.  It is hard to not be able to tell your own parents about your love life or dating experiences.  Every woman you go see has to be a friend and not more.

In fact, my family goes as far to say that I will be celibate the rest of my life. Uhm, no.  I want a wife.  I want to experience love again.  I want to be in love with my best friend (no not those I call my best friends, but a new best friend).  I want romance.

It is just hard.  I have some that are affirming, but their either gay or don't care if I am.  My three best friends don't care.  But I want my family on board.  It hurts to not share my life with them fully.  So, I let things not all be known to save from fighting.  I hide me.

Well, I am tired of hiding me for the sake of others.  I am tired of being in the closet cause being out makes another uncomfortable.  No I am not in it for the most part, just when around certain people.  I mean I hear about their relationships, their love life, but they don't hear about mine!?  What is up with that?

I tell people, you teach others how to treat you, but this one has me baffled.  I treat them with respect and stand behind them.  Yet, I don't get the same.  I don't know if things will change, but I had to get this out.

What do you do to help others accept and affirm you?