Okay, I don't talk about my dating life much on here, but thought that I would today.  Dating is so different now that I am 40 and living a Christian life.  In the past, I would date around.  I was looking for fun and now.  I wanted someone that was out for a good time like I was.

Now that I am older, I am looking to settle down.  I want to meet that person that will be there till the end of times with me.  My person that gets me in the good times and bad times.  I want a friend first, then my lover.  It is harder though to meet people when you are 40.

Most are married, in committed relationships, or there is a reason they are not.  For instance one person I went out with was still growing up and coming to terms with being gay.  One gal, went great with, but she moved to another state and we are still good friends.  Another I went out with turned out to just be getting out of a Relationship and not over it yet.  And another person I went out with, well it was like dating her whole family right away.  And finally another only wanted to have sex and was not happy when I let it be known that I will not be having sex till I say "I do" again.

So, this makes me think what are my flaws that Push people away?  Do I talk about ex's too much?  No, not any more, I worked through that now.  Is it cause I live at home with my folks? If so, that is lame excuse.  Is it I am too out going? I think not as these days I am more shy then outgoing.  Am I too big?  Well maybe, but working on that.  Do I work too much?  Well of course, how else am I to pay the bills?  Am I too butch?  I think at times yes and others no.

Yet, I can't pick myself apart!  And the person for me won't either.  They will help me build to a better future.  One with God in it!  In fact where He is first in our lives.  They are my equal and walking at times in front to lead when I can't, at times behind to give me a push when it calls for it, and others beside me when it calls for that.  They listen to me even when I can't say anything.  And finally they love unconditionally as I will give it to them.

So as I date in my 40s, I look for my forever person and keep in mind that she is out there getting ready for me as I have also been getting ready for her.  May God send us in each other's path soon and let us start to build our friendship!  It is in God's hands, all I can do is put myself out there to meet them!