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Story: Alone in the dark

Tags: susan parent

Desperately looking around the cold house, Susan looked for any sign that this was all real.  Had she just spent her whole adult life caring for her parents that she lost track of others?  Now her parents had died and Susan did not know what to do.  Sure on Facebook she had tons of friends, but really who did she have?

Susan finally sat down and let the overwhelming despair hit her, she was alone and it was no one's fault but her own.  She had chosen to take care of her elderly parents and put off being part of other's lives.  Now in her greatest hour of need, there was no one there.  Susan was all alone.

Just as Susan was starting to wonder what to do from this point, the phone rang.  It had been days since the phone rang and even then it was just a bill collector.  Wanting to hear another's voice, Susan reached for the phone.  To her surprise it was a woman she considered a friend but never once spoke on the phone.

"Hello" Susan said in a very shy and uncertain voice.

"Susan, this is Toni, are you there?"

"Yes, what can I do for you?"
"Well, we had not seen you at church in some time and we know that a few weeks ago your parents passed away."

Before Toni could finish, Susan interrupted her. "Yes, they did, so why are you calling?"

"Well, I was just getting to that.  Some of us ladies want to take you out to lunch.  Can you be ready in an hour and we will pick you up?"

Susan went silent.  Here she craved attention and being out with others, but at the same time she feared it.  If she said yes, how bad could it be?  If she said no, would there be another chance?  And maybe is not an answer.  It had been some time since she did some thing with someone other then her parents.

"I will go, but don't know what kind of company I will be."

"Great we will see you soon!" and with that Toni hung up.

Now Susan had to get out of her old t-shirt and sweat pants and become presentable.  With each step to the closet, she kept wondering what she was doing.  Susan stood at her closet and had no clue what to wear.  Finally she laid out her jeans, a nice slender blouse, and her short leather boots.

From there, Susan walked into the bathroom and got ready to shower.  Today was one of those days that she did not feel pretty.  Not to say she wasn't, but over time, life had taken a tole.  Susan stood looking at her now plump figure, her sagging eyes, her salt and pepper hair, and the wrinkles that took over.  How did this happen?  She remembered a time when she was thin, full of life, and a face so thin.  Time taking care of her parents really took a toll.

After getting showered and dressed, Susan went to the front room and lit up a smoke.  Her anxiety started to run wild and Susan struggled to get it under control.  Reaching for the prescription her doctor gave her for anxiety, Susan forced herself to take just one.  She hadn't even opened the bottle till now, but giving she had not left the house except for work since the funeral, she had no need to.

After a bit of time passed, Susan started to wonder if they forgot to get her.  Just great she thought, call me up, invite me out, and then don't show!  No wonder there are no friends!  As this rampant of negative thoughts started to set in, Susan felt her eyes swell up with tears, and she swore that she would not agree to this again.  

Just as she gave up though, the door bell rang.  Susan startled back to reality not the dark depths she had just gone, put out her smoke, and grabbed her purse.

When Susan opened the door, there stood Toni, Jill, and Lesley.  Three women that Susan didn't even think thought of her one minute.

"You just going to stand there or are we headed out?" Jill jokingly said to Susan.

And with that the girls were off.  They had lunch, went to the mall, and then to dinner.  They would not let Susan get too far off, and was determined to show her that people care when she let's them in.  Susan ended up enjoying the day and found that though she had set aside her friends, they never left her.

Moral of the story, don't let go of the ones that are there and get out and enjoy life with your peeps!


This post first appeared on Church Of Christ Lesbian, please read the originial post: here

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Story: Alone in the dark

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