Let’s cut to the chase. The world of Christian eschatology can often be bafflingly mad. When you say (straight-faced, of course) that people were suspected of covert Papism for suggesting that the Pope might not be the Antichrist in seventeenth-century England, or that there are large numbers of people who currently believe that Obama is part of new world order plot to introduce Marxism to America and people laugh out loud at the absurdity of what you’ve just said, then you know you’ve been inside the eschatological bubble for far too long. The problem is that neither of these things seems that strange to me – both elicit as much surprise as a Louis Walsh moan on the X-Factor.
But even I was taken aback by “Rapture Orphan Rescue” (ROR), a site that promises to evangelise children after their parents have been raptured at the start of the tribulation period. How, you are wondering, does this work? For surely all Christians will be heaven – there will be nobody left to evangelise these children until the “tribulation saints” emerge? Well here’s the thing: the site is run by a group of “open-minded atheists and agnostics covering every state”. In the event of the rapture, said team will re-evaluate their beliefs and enjoy a startling conversion to the faith. At which point they will locate your child, care for them and share the good news of Jesus until they are saved. All of this comes at a cost: $195 to witness to a family member when they are of age (good deal!), $295 to also alert the emergency responders (wait – is that $100 for a 911 call?) and prevent the child taking the mark of the beast (oh, not such a bad deal then) or $1,000,000 for the 7 year omega package that includes immediate home invasion, safe houses in both alpha and omega stages (see what they’ve done there?) and continual evangelisation. If you don’t want to commit now, there’s a 30 day trial for only $4,995. A snip!
To be honest the concept is quite entertaining as a form of absurdist satire, although its ethics are dubious. On this point there is an informative interview with the site’s founder here that clears up his own religious background and that he’s not in it for the money. Having been involved in the deep and murky world of internet message boards I’ve had my share of discussions which could have come straight out of an Evelyn Waugh novel: my personal favourite remaining the debate on whether micro-chipping your dog was giving it the mark of the beast and thus damning it to hell. But I’m always nervous about giving the impression that the dispensational eschatological tradition is a home for freaks and weirdoes, “eschatomaniacs” as Mark Driscoll once labelled them. My real life experience with those in the movement has been hugely positive. The majority have been friendly, committed to doing God’s will and genuinely seeking Jesus. The thing that troubles me about “Rapture Orphan Rescue” is that it panders to the part of me that doesn’t want to recognise the normality of vast numbers of dispensationalists. It seeks (explicitly, in its recollection of doubting Thomas) the proof of God’s existence. When the absurdist façade is stripped away, we’re left with a site that challenges believers to place money against their certainty of their interpretation of eschatology. While the site’s founder doubts that any will accept the challenge, it nonetheless seems to be completely the wrong way to be seeking faith. It is looking for proofs of belief based around externals, not the internal witness of the spirit and certainty that what we believe is true without basing it upon this or that in the world. It denies that we require any kind of enabling grace to turn our inner eye upon Jesus. Of course, I’m sure the site’s founder would agree that this is exactly what he is doing. Whether we feel it is right or wrong depends upon our positions.
But there is one other thing that I feel that ROR genuinely achieves. It poses a difficult theological question that we would prefer to avoid – the fate of those who die young. The question of whether children are saved when they die before a notional age of responsibility is a serious one and its answers remains uncomfortably ambiguous for most of us. Answers are often sought outside of the Bible, even amongst those who deny any authority outside of the book on other occasions. I find this understandable, even if theologically inconsistent. The prospect of considering a son, daughter or sibling in hell is a horrific concept and one that I have personally struggled with following the death of my own sister. Certainly, the logical implication of a belief in the universal sinfulness of mankind at all ages leads us toward uncomfortable conclusions, even more so when if we brand prayer for the dead a heretical practice. I can’t offer any answers to the question myself – but needless to say the logic of this doctrine brings me up against the limits of what I can comfortably accept within my faith. ROR doesn’t offer any answers to the question – but it poses it, and calls believers to biblical consistency. Perhaps, this absurdity can lead us to consider the nature of our own beliefs, to re-evaluate and critically examine both our doctrines and the logical implications of these – what are the authorities we govern our life and faith by? Scripture, reason, or the Church? After all, isn’t this what the Bible, and a close walk with Jesus, calls us to anyway?
But even I was taken aback by “Rapture Orphan Rescue” (ROR), a site that promises to evangelise children after their parents have been raptured at the start of the tribulation period. How, you are wondering, does this work? For surely all Christians will be heaven – there will be nobody left to evangelise these children until the “tribulation saints” emerge? Well here’s the thing: the site is run by a group of “open-minded atheists and agnostics covering every state”. In the event of the rapture, said team will re-evaluate their beliefs and enjoy a startling conversion to the faith. At which point they will locate your child, care for them and share the good news of Jesus until they are saved. All of this comes at a cost: $195 to witness to a family member when they are of age (good deal!), $295 to also alert the emergency responders (wait – is that $100 for a 911 call?) and prevent the child taking the mark of the beast (oh, not such a bad deal then) or $1,000,000 for the 7 year omega package that includes immediate home invasion, safe houses in both alpha and omega stages (see what they’ve done there?) and continual evangelisation. If you don’t want to commit now, there’s a 30 day trial for only $4,995. A snip!
To be honest the concept is quite entertaining as a form of absurdist satire, although its ethics are dubious. On this point there is an informative interview with the site’s founder here that clears up his own religious background and that he’s not in it for the money. Having been involved in the deep and murky world of internet message boards I’ve had my share of discussions which could have come straight out of an Evelyn Waugh novel: my personal favourite remaining the debate on whether micro-chipping your dog was giving it the mark of the beast and thus damning it to hell. But I’m always nervous about giving the impression that the dispensational eschatological tradition is a home for freaks and weirdoes, “eschatomaniacs” as Mark Driscoll once labelled them. My real life experience with those in the movement has been hugely positive. The majority have been friendly, committed to doing God’s will and genuinely seeking Jesus. The thing that troubles me about “Rapture Orphan Rescue” is that it panders to the part of me that doesn’t want to recognise the normality of vast numbers of dispensationalists. It seeks (explicitly, in its recollection of doubting Thomas) the proof of God’s existence. When the absurdist façade is stripped away, we’re left with a site that challenges believers to place money against their certainty of their interpretation of eschatology. While the site’s founder doubts that any will accept the challenge, it nonetheless seems to be completely the wrong way to be seeking faith. It is looking for proofs of belief based around externals, not the internal witness of the spirit and certainty that what we believe is true without basing it upon this or that in the world. It denies that we require any kind of enabling grace to turn our inner eye upon Jesus. Of course, I’m sure the site’s founder would agree that this is exactly what he is doing. Whether we feel it is right or wrong depends upon our positions.
But there is one other thing that I feel that ROR genuinely achieves. It poses a difficult theological question that we would prefer to avoid – the fate of those who die young. The question of whether children are saved when they die before a notional age of responsibility is a serious one and its answers remains uncomfortably ambiguous for most of us. Answers are often sought outside of the Bible, even amongst those who deny any authority outside of the book on other occasions. I find this understandable, even if theologically inconsistent. The prospect of considering a son, daughter or sibling in hell is a horrific concept and one that I have personally struggled with following the death of my own sister. Certainly, the logical implication of a belief in the universal sinfulness of mankind at all ages leads us toward uncomfortable conclusions, even more so when if we brand prayer for the dead a heretical practice. I can’t offer any answers to the question myself – but needless to say the logic of this doctrine brings me up against the limits of what I can comfortably accept within my faith. ROR doesn’t offer any answers to the question – but it poses it, and calls believers to biblical consistency. Perhaps, this absurdity can lead us to consider the nature of our own beliefs, to re-evaluate and critically examine both our doctrines and the logical implications of these – what are the authorities we govern our life and faith by? Scripture, reason, or the Church? After all, isn’t this what the Bible, and a close walk with Jesus, calls us to anyway?
