In this moment, I feel like the shock of loss around Jay has lessened.  

It doesn't hit me as often, although I'm still extra emotional around loss of any kind.

(I had a panic attack last night around the fact that one day C-Dawg will die and Jason will... as will most everyone I know and that's not a pleasant thought, so I'm kind of ignoring it. )

I suppose the knowledge that he is gone will stay with me forever, but not at the forefront of my brain/thoughts/mind.

I'm not saying I'm ok with it, just that I'm perhaps more used to the truth of it.