Thoughts on the Lions’ recent moves in free agency.

What a marathon it has been already in the NFL. Free agency only started five days ago, but it feels like it could have been a month ago. When I went to sleep Tuesday I looked like a fat Vin Diesel. Now on Monday, I look like an even fatter Vin Diesel. The time sure did fly.

I felt it necessarily to bring back “What Just Happened” for the offseason. Partially because I missed it, partially because it’s my favorite way to express my thoughts on this team and partially because I miss throwing Fresh Prince videos at you.

That’s what I said when I woke up this morning.

What we’re going to talk about today is all of the Lions’ recent signings over the past five days. Because as always, I have thoughts. These are those thoughts.

It’s Rick, not Ricky

Bob Quinn wasn’t kidding when he said the Lions would take swings at some of the big name free agents available. It looks like the magic bat is working ahead of draft time. Rick Wagner is a major score and a major upgrade over Riley Reiff for the Lions. Yet somehow he came a little cheaper than Reiff. We’ll have to thank our friends over Bemidji for that. This could wind up being a cornerstone pick up for the Lions at the end of the day, but it wasn’t the last one.

Go DJ. Cause that’s my DJ

Strip away the fact that D.J. Hayden has never played a full season or that he commits penalties like it’s his job, and you have z quality pick up, but you can’t strip that away. This is clear case of “I can fix it!”

It’s a risky signing for the aforementioned reasons, but it’s one a one-year deal. It seems low risk and high reward, but his issues won’t be easy to correct.

Akeem the dream

More work in the trenches. What the Lions lacked on defense in 2016 was a pass rush or a good run stuffer. Look what Thomas Rawls was able to do to this team in the playoffs. Akeem Spence isn’t going to solve that problem on his own, but he’s a good step towards a much larger plan. On a team that frequently takes fringe players and oddly succeeds at making something out of them, this could be best for both parties.

Cornelius Washington

Anytime you can steal a guy from your rival, it’s always good. Even if, in the end, Washington may not have much bearing on what the Lions do. I’m not sure what to think of Washington just yet. There really is no sample serving out there. He’s been in the league since 2013 and just got his first two starts in the NFL. The good news is that he looked somewhat good in those games. We’ll see soon enough what the Lions saw in him.

Ke$hawn

The Lions are still slim on receiver. Even after signing former Michigan State Receiver Keshawn Martin, the Lions are still slim at receiver. I don’t see much from Martin when it comes to lining up at receiver. What I do see is Martin as the Lions new return man. I think it’s pretty clear at this point that Andre Roberts isn’t in the Lions’ future plans. Let’s hope Martin can show the same type of play he did when he was returning kicks in Houston. The good thing is he’ll reunite with Joe Marciano, who was the Texans special teams coach at that time.

Gone but not forgotten

Wow! That must have been some Chilean parasite. The Lions unfortunately parted ways with DeAndre Levy last week. It came as a shock to Lions Fans, but the more I think about it, I can’t see why we were shocked at all. The sad truth is that Levy was a solid player that only played five games in two years. Something had to give at some point.

I doubt very seriously Levy’s downfall was the result of his offseason activities or some super parasite that may or may not be a Symbiote hell-bent on taking over DeAndre Levy’s body in attempt to rob the world of its natural resources. It’s just a simple case of guy getting hurt and not being able to get healthy again.

The real issue here is the gaping Sarlacc Pit sized hole the Lions defense is now leaving in the center of the field. Not to say that Levy would have countered this issue, but his presence would have helped. Now the Lions just have to hope that opposing playmakers will simply fall into the hole so they don’t get exposed, unless they do something about it in the draft.

The Lions have also parted ways with Dan Orlovsky. A move that everyone saw coming. I, for one, am not too comfortable with Jake Rudock getting the call so early. As for everyone else, the Lions haven’t made decisions on guys like Anquan Boldin or Devin Taylor yet. No other team has either. So there’s a chance they could come back and give it one more try.

Darren Fells

I like this one more than most. I think many Lions fans had their hearts set on Jared Cook or Martellus Bennett. But the truth remains that they have a player like that already in Eric Ebron. But while the former Tar Heel can make plays, he’s a liability on the blocking end of things.

Insert Darren Fells. The former basketball player has the athletic ability needed to make plays, but what he’s really proficient in is blocking, which is a higher priority than play-making at this point. Stafford has been sacked 126 times in the last three years and the Lions finished at the bottom of the league in rushing for the second straight year. Blocking is kind of important.

T.J. Lang

Hey Seattle and Green Bay.

What a nice Sunday treat this was. After Lions fans and the media spent most of Friday and Saturday trying to figure out Lang’s exact location like he was Carmen Sandiego, we all got the word that he had a great meeting in Seattle. To Lions fans dismay, he suddenly began to follow other Seahawks on Twitter. We know this because we’re all creepy stalkers.

I, like most, thought he was as good as gone. Then Sunday morning the word came in that he had returned to Michigan to ponder his choices. An hour later, he joined the Detroit Lions.

It goes without saying, this is a major free agent signing for the Lions. Pair Lang with Wagner—and even Fells—and you have a stunning upgrade as far as blocking goes. If this works out for the Lions, there’s a decent chance that they could end the 2017 season with one of the finer offensive lines in the NFL. We shall see in a few months.

What are your thoughts Lions fans? Are you excited about the Lions signings? After thinking it over, what are your thoughts the Levy release? Be sure to leave your comments below. As for me, all I can say is this.