Top 50+ Funny Christmas wishes and Quotes

Christmas is the day for blessings and love
So let us do not overload priest
Celebrate the Christmas here with party
Merry Christmas to you

Ho! Ho! Ho! eats or gifts but my Santa i have a list of gifts on this Christmas!!... 

Christmas is often for children; it could be a joyful moment for adult only when the credit card bills are on the table.

Do not expect Santa
They all are Drunk and flat
Merry Christmas without gifts

I wish you a merry and fun-filled Christmas but never become an obstacle between your kids and their gifts.

Christmas is truly full of wonders.
It makes all of my savings disappear!
That is the Christmas magic
Merry Christmas 

I think Santa’s wish for this Christmas should be to lose weight.

Rudolph has a red nose because he is drunk.
Funny Lego Santa Clause from Star Wars
Funny quotes for Christmas greetings

Wanting to be eating and a grisly decent New Year!
Hello both of you over yonder,
It's the old, hairy person and his senseless reindeer!

The best way to enjoy this Christmas is to enjoy it after all; though, the next Christmas is just 12 months away. Would you wait?

We're here to bring you holiday cheer
And wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Christmas is like job: you do all the work but fat guy in suit gets all the credit. Enjoy and be merry!

If you open your eyes and discover that you are in a sack, remain calm; after all, many people would have asked Santa for a lovely friend like you.

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it.  Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for twenty minutes.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

Greetings from North Pole! Don’t be shocked… it’s Christmas again!

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

Christmas is like job: you do all the work but fat guy in suit gets all the credit. Enjoy and be merry!

I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.

If you can't wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.

This year you was not good… You were FANTASTIC! May your celebration be joyous and your holidays bright!

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?

Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

OMG! Christmas already? Wishing you a “train load” of good wishes.

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?

My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.

Isn’t it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for – I don’t know what exactly, but it’s something that you don’t mind so much not having at other times.

Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

Remember!
This December,
That love weighs more than gold! 

Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.

I felt overstuffed and dull and disappointed, the way I always do the day after Christmas.

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending!!

Christmas has been canceled! And it's your fault because I told Santa you had been good and he died laughing!

Greetings from North Pole! Don't be shocked... it's Christmas again!
Hope your Christmas is out of this world!

His name is Clause. Santa Clause. The Force is with him. And he'll be back!

Please allow Jesus to Come and
Bless people in Church on Christmas,
If he sees you there he may not.
So come here and have party with me
Merry Christmas to you

Christmas comes each time this year -
Relax, enjoy, and have some beer!

May your holidays be like Santa - fat, cheerful and abundant!

I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts.

Before, children are the carolers.
Nowadays, I wonder why streets are field with adult carolers.

Mother gives coins to children carolers, and gives bills to adult ones.
Why is that so?
Isn’t it Christmas is for children?
I want to give the best Christmas gift. Please, where can I buy a box of love?
I'm sure you weigh three times my weight; Santa has a Christmas wish for you: lose weight.

I am so excited to wear my new dress today just to see that my Godparents were out of their house.

I wish Santa flies to my home today; most times I fall asleep waiting to receive his gifts.
You know why Santa is always at your door every Christmas? Because he knows where naughty boys and girls hide. Marry Christmas.

From every corner of our heart and home, may the warmth and laughter of the Christmas season bring us fulfilment.

They say that Christmas is just around the corner
How can it be when the world is round?

Anybody know where can I buy love?
They told me that it is the best thing to give this Christmas.

I think Santa must ride a plane instead of sleigh so that he can reach me faster.
I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.

Is Santa so busy that he cannot find time to groom himself?
I think he needs to shave his beard.

People went to midnight mass not to hear mass, but to let their seatmates hear their snores.

I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU,
But I really would love a new credit card as well!

I wish you wealth in nothingness and love in loneliness; When you have nothing to celebrate the Christmas, just believe that the next knock at your door belongs to Santa.

Santa has the best trick for an amazing Christmas; visit your friends once in a year.

Christmas is not just a season to visit everyone in their homes; it's also a time to weigh their sizes. Merry Christmas.

Since I brought the presents,
I’ve asked Santa to bring you love and happiness!

Hold peace, love and hope in your heart always
And Christmas will bring you what you wish for.

I know your family is dysfunctional.
Still, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
If you look for me at Christmas,
Don’t forget to check the local bar!

I pray to see not just Santa but also the Three Kings this Christmas.

This is the time when I can kiss the person I want to along with a Christmas greeting without being slapped on my face.You are all I want for Christmas.

But of course I would also appreciate much if I will get cars, house, cash and diamonds perhaps.

I wonder how old Santa Claus is.

Yippee! Another day again to receive, receive, and receive!

Christmas makes me feel nervous and threatened because I will be seeing again my godchildren.

They say Christmas is a time for smiles.
How can I smile if my wallet has ran out of cash?

One beautiful and memorable way to have a white Christmas is to forget that you're in a Christmas season. Merry Christmas.

I wish you the wonders of this Christmas― that the magic of the season makes all your savings so limited that you wish it's celebrated daily.

I wish you love in loneliness, peace in trouble and white Christmas but if your white wine goes out, resort to red. Merry Christmas.

Wrap your Christmas gift well. If you wrap your friend's Christmas gift in a paper bearing "Happy Birthday," just add " To Jesus."

In this Christmas season, keep all things in the right view. Or let your credit card brings its limit to bear.

Let us rejoice and enjoy
Has lord has given this day
to drink as much you want
Happy Christmas
Funny-Christmas-Wishes

Let the kids learn some Christmas carol; it's just sane that they can't sing and go begging for gift-toys at the same time.

As a kid, I love the feelings that my dad was the Santa, but I get scared figuring out how he made it to all the neighbours' houses in a night.

I wish you a Christmas without relatives, at least you won't get scary of credit card bills.

I have Kept some photos in my home
So come here instead of Church
you can drink and pray,
And no more boring speach from the priest
Merry Christmas and Happy New year

If you want to have a lovely Christmas, make sure you spend more time unwrapping gifts than you would untangling Christmas lights.

If you want to have a happy Christmas, avoid going to the mall after December 20th.

Wishing you hit the jackpot for health, wealth, and happiness this holiday season and throughout the New Year 2017!

OMG! Christmas already? Wishing you a "train load" of good wishes.
Hope your Christmas is the "M" word (Merry)!!!

Holidays are exhausting. Ho Ho! Keep calm and enjoy Christmas!
Hoping you have a 100% Awesome Christmas 2016!

The goose is getting fat
And gifts are piling up each day;
Enjoy your Christmas time my friend,
May good things come your way!

I wish you a White Christmas! But if your White Wine runs out, drink the Red...

May on this Christmas
Glow of prosperity and joy of Happiness
Fill in you body along with Christmas wine
Merry Christmas to you

This year you was not good... You was FANTASTIC! May your celebration be joyous and your holidays bright!

I am wishing you Christmas wishes around you.
Have two drinks and look
Merry Christmas

Christmas is not only for praying and praising
But for drinking and messing around also
Merry Christmas

It's all fun and games 'till Santa checks the Naughty List... Can't wait to see your gift by Christmas!
How do cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas and happy Mew Year!
May Santa always stop at your house. Merry Christmas!

Do you know the most amazing thing about being a kid? You simply won't pay for your Christmas gifts.

Ladies regularly would prefer not to find on Christmas first light that their tights have a place with their spouses. Make them do it at any rate. Cheerful Christmas.

If you want to discover who your husband or wife is, watch how (s)he tangles Christmas tree light.

Christmas is the festival of love and spirit
So let us drink the spirit to feel love
Merry Christmas to You
Man will live for ever
Because of Christmas
Merry Christmas to you

Are you a grown up? Hope you'll feel good when all you desire on Christmas is no longer in the store.

Are you worried about the size of your Christmas tree? Relax, it's only 30 feet tall in the eyes of all children.

If you wake up only to realise that none of your Christmas expectations is met, just believe that Christmas is nothing but a state of the mind.

Christmas is a season of love and laughter only when all our gifts are brought in wraps of red ribbon. Merry Christmas.

I mistakenly wrapped your Christmas present in paper that says "Happy Birthday". So I added wording "to Jesus" on it. Merry Christmas!

Christmas present recommendations
To your foe, absolution,
To an adversary, resilience,
To a companion, your heart,
To a client, benefit,
To all, philanthropy,
To each kid, a great illustration,
To yourself, regard.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.