Confidence is considered very sexy. Confident people trust their decisions, they set healthy boundaries and priorities their needs and emotions.

They don’t lose themselves in a relationship, or stay in a bad relationship.

When you have healthy confidence the fear of rejection melts away because and you are comfortable in your own skin. You see a relationship ending due to being compatible not because there is something wrong with you.

Low confidence on the other hand amplifies the fear of rejection making it overwhelming especially if you’ve experienced a painful rejection in the past.

When you experience emotional pain the same part of the brain gets activated as physical pain which is located in the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex.
So basically if you feel emotional pain or break a leg, your brain can’t really tell the difference. It’s no wonder its natural to avoid pain like the plague emotional or physical and how it can have a consequence on your self-confidence.

Like Pavlov’s dogs you have developed an association that you may want to avoid at all costs.

THE WAY TO INSTANTLY REGAIN POWER AND BUILD CONFIDENCE IS TO LOOK AT SOMETHING CALLED CAUSE AND EFFECT:

CAUSE AND EFFECT one of my favourite tools where you feel good instantly. Within minutes you can move from feeling helpless  to feeling empowered and having choice.
Let’s look at the difference between cause and effect.

When you are at effect, you are dis-empowered. You see yourself as the victim and blame others for how they treated you. You feel powerless and give away your control. You feel helpless and unlucky.

But what if you took control of your life?

You would be at cause. When you are at cause, it is very empowered, you take full responsibility of your life which enables you to create what you want and build confidence. The world is full of opportunity when you are at cause. This is where you take action.

By changing how you look at situations and decisions is the easiest way to change your future and build confidence.

Becoming responsible for your actions and being at cause of your life.

How to build confidence?
Confidence can be learnt; it is a state of mind.

It’s about having positive beliefs about yourself. The fastest way to build your confidence is to be “nice” to yourself.  Sounds simple but it’s true.

Here are 7 steps to building confidence
1.  Let’s Get Physical!
Healthy body equals healthy mind. Exercise is a great way to build confidence because not only does it improve the way you look physically you, biochemically your body will release natural feel good hormones called endorphin’s.

These endorphin’s are a neurochemical release from the hypothalamus and pituitary gland and act as natural pain killers. They reduce your perception of pain or negative feelings and trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine.

Over time your positive feelings will boost optimism and in turn build confidence not to mention that sexy body you will be sculpting.

2. Physiology Creates Psychology and Build Confidence.
Feel good hormones like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphin’s are released when we perceive pleasure, creating good feelings or a positive effect.

Your posture can have a huge impact on how you feel and help you build confidence.
Have a look at a confidence person’s posture. You’ll notice their shoulders are back, they tend to smile more (smiles are amazing for building confidence, oozing attraction and melting away the fear of rejection).

Confident people also offer and maintain eye contact. Their gaze tends to be higher and they speak slower. Their body language is open.

3. Look and feel your best.
A new outfit is an instant way of building confidence.

Get yourself outfit that compliments your body. Highlight your assets.  When you look good on the outside, you can’t help but feel good and boost your confidence on the inside.

4. Be positive and remove negative people from your life.
As simple as that, if you are around people that make you feel good and are positive this will rub off.

Plus, you’ll have the support network which his priceless and it is the fastest way to build confidence by having people around you that adore you, you will feel good about you. So reconnect with family and friends that love and appreciate you.

5. Change your thoughts change your feelings.

Whenever you have a negative thought about yourself, quickly change it to a positive. The more you practice this the faster you will build confidence and eliminate negative feelings.

Just like you change the channel on the TV, when a negative thought comes up quickly flick the switch and watch something else. Before you know if the negative thoughts will be a thing of the past.

6.Laugh, smile and have fun.
The more carefree you are and the more you enjoy the simple things and feel good the more you will build confidence.

People love happy people, they are considered more attractive and you can’t help but want to gravitate towards them. Even when you’re feeling a bit down in the dumps, smile, it will melt away your worries and before you know it you will begin to feel good.

7. Make yourself a priority.
Put your own needs first. Be kind to yourself. Do something just for you, make time for you because you’re worth it.

Try something new, like a photography class, or make time to regularly visit your yoga studio. Making yourself a priority in a concrete, simple way will boost your self-esteem, and give you the confidence you need to own your individuality and maintain healthy boundaries.

Change doesn’t happen overnight.  When your mind comes back to anxious thoughts about the relationship, notice those thoughts and let them go.

Focusing on your breath is a great way to quiet the mind chatter and bring your attention back to the present moment.

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