“You are right,” the Pope agreed. “We must do something to ensure that we can maintain our control.”
Therefore, the Pope and his followers came up with a plan.
They began to promote a celebration of Christ (Christ-Mass) during the same time as Saturnalia. When asked why have a celebration, they explained that it was to celebrate Christ’s birth.
The Pope said he had made a mistake, due to the change in the calendar system to the more modern Julianone. Christ was indeed born in December, the Pope assured everyone.
The pagans still didn’t like it.
“Saturnalia is fun. We get gifts, we have this cool tree, there’s dancing and singing,” they said.
“You can still do that,” the Pope professed. “It’s a birthday party after all, isn’t it?”
So the pagans began to celebrate both holidays, but as more and more were convinced to switch over to Christianity, Saturnalia fell out of favor. However, those pagans who still celebrated their cherished Saturnalia swore they’d take it back.
It took longer than they expected, but slowly and surely, the pagans have regained control of their celebration.
So today the pagans have taken back the holiday—but have cleverly decided to keep it under the title “Christmas.”
The celebration keeps getting expanded too, now beginning on the Friday after Thanksgiving (Pagan Black Friday) and continuing through New Year's. There are competitions to have the biggest tree and brightest light displays. Children are taught that the best gifts are the most expensive and the ones hardest to acquire. In addition, of course, there are large gatherings to sing and perform in celebration of the holiday.
The Thurber Brigadewishes everyone a Happy Holiday—no matter which one you celebrate!
The Thurber Brigade apologizes for using this rerun once again. Admit it though, you are already watching a ton of reruns, from "Miracle on 34th Street" to "It's a Wonderful Life" so why not one more? Besides, The Brigade is busy buying presents and celebrating all the holidays that enjoy drinking and so hasn't had time to come up with some snarky blog about relationships. We promise that after the New Year (and after all the football games) we'll get back on track. Until then, enjoy the holidays and your friends.