The first step towards change is to become aware of the destructive behaviors that are moving you away from each other, interfering with meaningful connection, & resolving nothing. Once you have the awareness, then you can move forward with new behaviors. Remind yourselves that you can choose to behave as enemies, or as each other’s best friend. This is a choice! Decide to STOP hurting each other! I have learned that in whatever ways I hurt my partner, I hurt myself. Hurting our partner won’t get our needs met or help us to feel loved or cared for.
During these challenging times, what we really need is to be there for each other. Deep down, what most of us want to know is, that our partner is there for us. But instead of communicating in a clear, healthy, and respectful manner, we do other things that push us away from each other. In a tense moment, you can both take some deep breaths and repeat to yourself – “He/She is not my Enemy. We need to work together and not against each other. We need each other now more than ever.” Remind yourself of the goal of working together as each other’s best friend!
I also recommend going through our blog for more articles on Relationship topics.
Article written by Mylene C. Hallaran, MS, LPC with LifeWorks Counseling.
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(These blog articles are written for individuals in non-abusive relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship, please go to www.thehotline.org for help.)
