This is the most common question we get asked, along with "Which ebooks are right for me?", and so I hope today I have finally come up with an answer that might help ...
www.thelovesafetynet.com
This website is all about love and has a short survey that will give you personal recommendations for your situation. It also promotes our ebooks and audio recordings which don't deal directly with narcissism.
On this site instead of talking about narcissism or NPD I talk about pride being the game destroyer when it comes to love.
I hope you like the work we have done on this and you will want to share it with your partner and friends ...
www.thelovesafetynet.com
If you want to share this with your partner you might say "Hey, I am game to face my pride and try this how about you?" Then if they take that challenge, you might even be able to start working through our material together.
I would however leave them to look over the books the survey will recommend for them all by themselves first.
If you try this and your partner says something dismissive and that our program won't work - you could come back and say, "Well suit yourself, but I want to give it a try and besides it's a lot cheaper and easier than marriage counseling!"
You must remember however that if the person you love does drop their pride - it doesn't mean they are going to know what to do after that. It is easy to think that our partner knows how to take care of us, but the truth is they often don't even know how to take care of themselves!
Some people talk about narcissism like it is a black heart inside a person that cannot change. I see it the opposite however - like a black hard shell on the outside that won't let anything in and once that shell comes off you don't know what is inside.
Whatever it is I know that when the shell comes down the person will feel very vulnerable.
Some people like Steve have had that shell come down and just need some time, space and protection to put things together better and get back on their feet.
Other people however have a different ending.
Sometimes the person won't let down their guard and instead they will just run when you start making changes. Or sometimes the person under the shell is fairly competent and get's things sorted out pretty quick. Other times however the shell comes down and inside the person may even be suffering from schizophrenia or schizoid personality type and be extremely vulnerable - and the narcissism was just a defense.
I have seen this twice now, both times with guys who were real macho tough guys who acted like gangsters, but when the shell came down it became obvious that they really were incredibly vulnerable and unwell and needed a lot of protection and care. In both of these cases however the person and their partner were much better off that the shell did come down and they could get help.
Your partner may or may not want to face their pride - but either way they will be scared and you need to understand this.
It is important that you stand up for yourself and not let someone abuse you - but that is different than you expecting them to help you in ways that maybe they just can't. That is why you need to do the work and get strong yourself.
Okay so I look forward to hearing what you think of this newly designed site.
Just like diet and exercise are good for anyone's health -- our training will help anyone struggling with love. This is not just about narcissism - it is about good habits for a person's love life and general mental health.
www.thelovesafetynet.com
Kim Cooper
www.NarcissismCured.com
PS. This site does not promote Back From the Looking Glass which is the book you need if you are dealing with long term abuse in your home. You can purchase Back From the Looking Glass on the right hand side panel on the site you are on now!
www.thelovesafetynet.com
On this site instead of talking about narcissism or NPD I talk about pride being the game destroyer when it comes to love.
I hope you like the work we have done on this and you will want to share it with your partner and friends ...
www.thelovesafetynet.com
If you want to share this with your partner you might say "Hey, I am game to face my pride and try this how about you?" Then if they take that challenge, you might even be able to start working through our material together.
I would however leave them to look over the books the survey will recommend for them all by themselves first.
If you try this and your partner says something dismissive and that our program won't work - you could come back and say, "Well suit yourself, but I want to give it a try and besides it's a lot cheaper and easier than marriage counseling!"
You must remember however that if the person you love does drop their pride - it doesn't mean they are going to know what to do after that. It is easy to think that our partner knows how to take care of us, but the truth is they often don't even know how to take care of themselves!
Some people talk about narcissism like it is a black heart inside a person that cannot change. I see it the opposite however - like a black hard shell on the outside that won't let anything in and once that shell comes off you don't know what is inside.
Whatever it is I know that when the shell comes down the person will feel very vulnerable.
Some people like Steve have had that shell come down and just need some time, space and protection to put things together better and get back on their feet.
Other people however have a different ending.
Sometimes the person won't let down their guard and instead they will just run when you start making changes. Or sometimes the person under the shell is fairly competent and get's things sorted out pretty quick. Other times however the shell comes down and inside the person may even be suffering from schizophrenia or schizoid personality type and be extremely vulnerable - and the narcissism was just a defense.
I have seen this twice now, both times with guys who were real macho tough guys who acted like gangsters, but when the shell came down it became obvious that they really were incredibly vulnerable and unwell and needed a lot of protection and care. In both of these cases however the person and their partner were much better off that the shell did come down and they could get help.
Your partner may or may not want to face their pride - but either way they will be scared and you need to understand this.
It is important that you stand up for yourself and not let someone abuse you - but that is different than you expecting them to help you in ways that maybe they just can't. That is why you need to do the work and get strong yourself.
Okay so I look forward to hearing what you think of this newly designed site.
Just like diet and exercise are good for anyone's health -- our training will help anyone struggling with love. This is not just about narcissism - it is about good habits for a person's love life and general mental health.
www.thelovesafetynet.com
Kim Cooper
www.NarcissismCured.com
PS. This site does not promote Back From the Looking Glass which is the book you need if you are dealing with long term abuse in your home. You can purchase Back From the Looking Glass on the right hand side panel on the site you are on now!
