Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
“As an unmuddied lake…. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer.”
For those of us fortunate enough to have a weekend, by which I mean, one or two days of self-scheduling, it is now time to re-set. (As recently stated), the workweek days are different. They pretty much belong to another. Another, less light-hearted way to express that is, a large majority of us are owned by something other than ourselves for the period of our lives designated: Monday through Friday. In most cases it is servitude by choice and there is a benefit to be enjoyed. So, as we begin our Monday, lets just remember:
- clarks: relax, all that you feel improved for you in the previous two days is not negated, does not go away and you are still the person that you saw (and, between you and me, actually thought you might not mind being) doing things Friday night through Sunday night, though you may feel the outsiderness come over you as you put on the protective coloration, the better to deal with bosses, superiors, unfriendly teachers, difficult administrators, unruly pre-schoolers and clients who don’t seem to appreciate how much a well-liked and respected person you seem to recall being for parts of the last 2.5 days
- scotts: focus, it is not about how much you can do, it is not about proving that you are able to get along with your co-workers, the librarian who sent you a friendly reminder for the DVDs that you borrowed, the teachers who don’t seem to get that you are not always causing trouble, the manager who seems to think that all you want to do is screw around even though he does not have a quota or a peer review in the next 2 weeks
- rogers: get over yourselves, sure… you love getting back to work and you know that even though there are people who screw up, seemingly on purpose, they do not need you to tell them how much they could improve, or how great your weekend was, or how if they were to try a little harder they might get asked out more, or how their children really need a little extra attention
The Wakefield Doctrine is a tool. It is, in fact, simply a perspective on behavior and the people in our our lives. It does not say what to do (for a better life). It does not say what to think. It does not even tell you how to make the other person: stop picking on you, leave you alone, be more reasonable, appreciate all you do for the family, understand that you really are trying, get it into their heads that you’re not interested in them that way, shut the fuck up, learn from their mistakes, stop self-sabotaging themselves, keep their holier-than-thou opinions to themselves. It does none of these things.
The Wakefield Doctrine is a way to understand the behavior of the people in our lives. It helps us to see the world as the other person is experiencing it. It allows us to infer how the people in our lives are relating themselves to the world around them. (By doing so), it allows us to know more about them than they know about themselves. And it, the Doctrine, not the people, allows us to change our behavior in ways that will enhance and improve our lives.
