Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Remember ‘re-runs’? (To whichever Reader is thinking, “Run! It’s and ontological booby trap!!” (or words duct-taping concepts to that effect) we say, “Welcome! We’re glad you stopped in!”)

Where were we? Oh yeah, re-runs. Those Readers not afflicted with the tragedy of hypo-ageism, will recall a time when television (Latin for: Three Channels) had a regular season of, I believe, twenty-six weeks and then, during the Summer (Latin for: Why on earth would a person be indoors, it’s light until, like eight! And, ‘stop-being-silly-you-can’t-sit-in-front-of-the-TV-outdoors!‘) They would play the same shows again.

This post is totally not like that!

lol (ok, it might be a little ‘like that’, except with parenthesiseses)

Hey! Nick! What’s the Greek word for parenthesiseses?? Without the backwards’R’s and flipped over ‘W’s, that is. lol

This is a very early post. we enjoyed reading it this morning. It felt like looking over our own shoulder during a dream when, you know, nothing scary or exciting happens, you’re just, like, doing everyday stuff, and, maybe, you, (the dream you, not the Reader you), begin to sense you’re in a dream and then you wake-up, mildly disappointed). Reading this morning was like that.

(Insider/backstage insight: the first thing that struck us was the use of first person pronoun, the second, just a touch of anterograde amnesia. This second effect is rare but definitely cool. clarks reading will identify with the pleasure of an un-filtered or qualified compliment. Even if it has an experiential half-life of two seconds.)

Anyway it was fun.

Quick Doctrine tip (to offset the Reprint Guilt): You can zero in on the predominant worldview of a person by the nature and quality of the pronouns they deploy during normal conversations as they interact with the world around them. No! Really!

time for another Post already?! oh man, no f*ckin way can I keep this up

October 6, 2009

OK. I have it together now. No need to get excited. Just sit here, clear the mind, the content is in there. Just relax.

My compliments to any of you out there who have maintained an active blog for more than 3 months. Jesus, this coming up with Posts all the time is not as easy as it looks. And this from the perspective of  ‘as long as there is a new Post once a week’  blogholder. But no one is holding a gun to my head… (‘hey theres an idea for a Post!)

SOMEONE IS HOLDING A GUN TO MY….

Sorry, forget it. Sure one of the 103,000,000 blog authors in the world today has already done the definitive, ‘Someone is holding a gun to my head’ treatment. Maybe there are some studies that I can cut and paste and fill up some of this white space and then I can call it a day and get back to my real life!

Alright, seriously now. I do mean my compliment to those of you who have the ability and talent (acquired or learned) to write something new and different and sometimes even interesting, Post after Post after Post/blog after blog after blog. Not bad. But since I am not ready to give up on this little blog of mine, I had better t t try to get it together and come up with a Post that will keep the crowdlette coming back for more.

Being that this is the Wakefield Doctrine (aka the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) I would do well to keep to the subject that I know best. (See? Right there! I don’t know much about grammar and good writing and all, but that last sentence had at least two tenses, and easily three pulperfects in it. Man, this is worse than the first time I recorded myself playing guitar along with Jimi Hendrix. Suffice it to say, if you were there you would not have had too much trouble telling us apart.)

This writing and grammar thing is really starting to annoy me. It is bad enough that I regret now that I did not take a typing class when I was in high school. (At my current age, in my high school years Typing Class was for people taking a Business curriculum, which meant you were going to be a secretary which meant you were a girl. That simple, end of cultural subtext). But with this damn blogging thing, I am being forced to confront the fact that I do not have mad writing skills.  I should have paid attention in my English classes. (Look, it was the 60s when I was in high school, how cool is that?) But the inescapable fact remains that the skill set I would value the most this October morning is not how to play the opening riff of ‘Sunshine of Your Love’. Its funny about how people, at least in the current (american) culture, we seem to have an expectation to be able to do certain things well, just because we think we can do them at all. By this I mean singing and writing. Most of us know that we can sing our favorite song in the car, on the way to work, therefore I think we all equate that with being a singer. Writing, the same. I can, with the help of spellcheck and a lot of proof reading, write a report at work, so how hard can it be to be a writer?

(I have resisted the impulse to hit Preview to see if I’m down far enough on this page to call it a day.) But anyway, you are here because you want to know all about the Wakefield Doctrine. Right?

The Wakefield Doctrine will cause you to see the world in a slightly different manner. Nothing earth-shaking, no flashes of light; ‘oh my god I understand now’ will not be on your lips. What will happen if you read most of this blog and the associated pages will be that you might find yourself saying, ‘that person is such a roger‘, or you might find yourself thinking, ‘here comes so-an-so what a scott he is’ or you could think, ‘shit, I’ll bet I’m one of those clarks the Doctrine is talking about.’

If this happens to you, I have succeeded. If it does not then I have failed. If you have a question about the Doctrine, leave a Comment or email or whatever the hell people do around here. I will get back to you as soon as I finish my Adult Education class, “You too Can Write Like The Prose’, that I am taking at my little local high school

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