By Sarah Lindahl
Marriage is the the natural consequence of love. Celebrating with friends and family, we profess vows of faithfulness in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. On that day, fulfilling those vows seems easy. Nothing will prevent us from fulfilling them. Come what may, we will make it through 'til death do us part'. But then the realities of married life take shape, and it is not what you envisioned. You could be asking yourself 'is there a way to save my marriage'?
A marriage can be saved, even completely transformed from a sad, or even depressing, situation to a life long love affair with your spouse. Even in the most difficult situations, such as adultery, marriages can be saved. Trust in hope, and know that you are not alone. Saving your marriage requires that you clearly understand what you should and should not do in the reconciliation process. Your desire to change your marriage for the better led you to this article in the first place.
Your marriage is in one of the six stages of the relationship life cycle:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are likely in stage 4 right now, and wanting to get to stage 5. But you may be also be wondering why you married your spouse in the first place. Perhaps marriage would be better with a different spouse. It is a difficult time realizing the dream, your vision of marriage, is not what you now have. The romance and infatuation stage is long gone and so are the blissful feelings of the honeymoon stage. While this is emotionally very hard, it is also perfectly normal. Closeness and intimacy, and sexual relations, change for the worse and this is the point where one of you may consider an affair. Avoid this no matter how difficult it seems at the moment. Remember you took vows, and now you must develop the skills to reconnect with your partner and change your marriage. Working through this will be painful and difficult, but keep the goal in mind. Make sure you equip yourself with the right tools to make the process more effective. By doing this you can get the result you want and avoid becoming a marriage statistic.
Typical difficulties are: what if my spouse does not want to save the marriage, can I get past the hurt, what can we do build trust in each other again. Caution is recommended here. If you are the one who needs forgiveness, begging for forgiveness or promising to change may get a response opposite to what you want. Picture yourself in their shoes. What if you are the one who needs to forgive? Can you forgive them? Under what conditions? These are not easy questions and you need to clarify your feelings and have a plan to work through this stage. Seeking a quick fix at this point instead of addressing core issues is the biggest mistake most couples make. Most marriage problems develop over time and it takes time to solve them. By equipping yourself properly, you will make it to the reconnection stage, and you will not be wondering 'is there any way to save my marriage'.
A marriage can be saved, even completely transformed from a sad, or even depressing, situation to a life long love affair with your spouse. Even in the most difficult situations, such as adultery, marriages can be saved. Trust in hope, and know that you are not alone. Saving your marriage requires that you clearly understand what you should and should not do in the reconciliation process. Your desire to change your marriage for the better led you to this article in the first place.
Your marriage is in one of the six stages of the relationship life cycle:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are likely in stage 4 right now, and wanting to get to stage 5. But you may be also be wondering why you married your spouse in the first place. Perhaps marriage would be better with a different spouse. It is a difficult time realizing the dream, your vision of marriage, is not what you now have. The romance and infatuation stage is long gone and so are the blissful feelings of the honeymoon stage. While this is emotionally very hard, it is also perfectly normal. Closeness and intimacy, and sexual relations, change for the worse and this is the point where one of you may consider an affair. Avoid this no matter how difficult it seems at the moment. Remember you took vows, and now you must develop the skills to reconnect with your partner and change your marriage. Working through this will be painful and difficult, but keep the goal in mind. Make sure you equip yourself with the right tools to make the process more effective. By doing this you can get the result you want and avoid becoming a marriage statistic.
Typical difficulties are: what if my spouse does not want to save the marriage, can I get past the hurt, what can we do build trust in each other again. Caution is recommended here. If you are the one who needs forgiveness, begging for forgiveness or promising to change may get a response opposite to what you want. Picture yourself in their shoes. What if you are the one who needs to forgive? Can you forgive them? Under what conditions? These are not easy questions and you need to clarify your feelings and have a plan to work through this stage. Seeking a quick fix at this point instead of addressing core issues is the biggest mistake most couples make. Most marriage problems develop over time and it takes time to solve them. By equipping yourself properly, you will make it to the reconnection stage, and you will not be wondering 'is there any way to save my marriage'.
About the Author:
Are you ondering what can I do to save my marriage? Do you have the skills to transform your marriage into the life of your dreams? Visit www.YourLoveSecret.com/blog to find the best advice on what can I do to save my marriage.
