I woke up to my news feed filled with people posting anonymous messages that they had received, after the mandatory minor research I was adamant of installing the viral app with millions installs overnight. Setup completion took me a dialogue box which flashed “leave a constructive Message here”, Sarahah a home-grown app to serve the purpose of sharing positive criticism was a part of several other messengers that I now had on my phone, the only difference that existed was the namelessness/facelessness of the sender of messages. Like everybody I shared my link and awaited my share of appreciation and opprobrium. Gradually, messages started flooding in.

“You are strong” said one. “I like you” said another. I was pleased with the kind of communiqué I was served with, but soon I met with the other part of the coin, the criticism. “Stop posting filtered selfies” “You are ugly” “easy target, what a hoe” “lying ass” “how much do you charge for a night” “I have heard you give sex easily” I was spewed with acrimonious string of speech.My blissful world where I was the queen was shook. I was puzzled as to what could have been the reason, why do people not like me. I kept guessing the senders as more and more abhorrent pings filled my inbox.

But being the thick-headed girl that I am, I posted most of them on my face book. Positive reverts and comments that supported my actions came in. Friends buzzed me about how bold I am and how much they appreciate me for taking my stands, meanwhile some found it funny to instigate me to post a lewd string of messages with a befitting reply to it. I did answer most, to the best of my ability. But alas someone had to stop, so I did. I took the break, the messages did not stop coming in, and I no longer wanted to post any of it positive / negative.

I learnt that I was not alone receiving such thoughts, “Sarahah fuelling Cyber Bullying, girl receives rape threats”, an article said. The article spoke of how a section of people are taking the anonymity to vent, send threats out of spite, to disparage. I pondered over how an app meant for positive feedbacks transformed into something completely different. Why we cannot just encourage people to do better? Why do we destroy instead of building?

Every day we come across intolerance in one form or the other. It is imbued in us to crib; we are never okay with anything. A bare-faced selfie would garner negative comments for not being pretty, a thick girl in short would face body shaming, and a fashionista with makeup would be called fake. The introvert would always be called slouchy loner and the sociable would be named slut/Casanova. We like to make assumptions and present them as facts. The truth dies inside us, but the rumors multiply and get distorted into something even worse. We like to practice the freedom of speech to belittle and not appreciate.

We exude malice and seek vengeance under the cloak of human rights and free will. People may say that the criticism is for those brave hearts that seek positive change and growth but fail to under the difference between critical appraisal and hectoring. We push the soft lines of our privilege to express into the gory cyber bullying which does more harm than good. We incessantly deprecate others which most times propagate depression, anxiety and body image issues.

I learnt, no matter how much I try I will always be a bitch to someone. I will be name called a slut, a whore, a skank and more for my personal choices which are not open to scrutiny for public anyway. I will embrace the positive and constructive feed backs that came my way and continue to wear a full face makeup, editing my pictures or go bare-faced whenever I want. I will continue to be the same vivacious person who is dauntless and takes strong stances for what she believes in.

I refuse to be bogged down by the negativity I was served as I understood that there will always be a certain group who would dislike my actions and display discomfort but would never unfriend, unfollow or block me as they like to breed resentment. I understood, I will never be able to please everyone and I do not have to. I comprehend that a society which promulgate harmony is a distant dream and Sarahah (Honesty and positivity) is still a world far from perfect.