Truly a terrible day for Britain. The pound tumbles against the euro to less than par and Gibraltar falls to Madrid. A racist government is voted into parliament in London as Scotland successfully leaves the Former United Kingdom (or FUK as it will be called for short). Two million Europeans working there will be told to get work-permits, visas and, as President Farage signs an order in a drunken moment, they will eventually all be deported.
For the British ex-pats - the two choices are clear: or get a European passport (Irish citizenship increases within a year by 10%); Spanish bureaucracy is overwhelmed as other Britons, furiously trying to remember their verbs, queue up outside the main police stations in Alicante, Almería and Málaga to get Spanish citizenship, their racist purple passports their only identification and the empty promise on the inside page their only hope.
Or the alternative: a rusting British destroyer moored off Garrucha. The note from the captain read out by a tearful Richard on Spectrum Radio.
'British subjects are informed that they must report to Nº 1 Quay at Garrucha Harbour not later than eighteen hundred hours today for repatriation to the United Kingdom. British subjects will comply or Her Majesty's Government will forego any further responsibility for their protection. One carry-on bag per person will be permitted, no foreign companions and no pets'.
I wonder where they'll put you all when you arrive in Southampton?
What a tragedy.