Jeanine Pirro is Fox News loudest voice. Her hyperventilating paranoia is always dialed to ‘11’.  And in her nasal, staccato, New York accent, she spends each Saturday evening on Fox News raving about some socialist/liberal plot the left is about to unleash on the United States — and the threatened right-wing patriots who guard ‘this great nation’.

This Thursday she brought her schtick to Fox Nation’s Todd Starnes radio show. Her topic? The ‘great replacement theory’. In her words:

“Their plan and their plot to remake America is to bring in the illegals, change the way the voting occurs in this country, give them licenses, they get to vote maybe once, maybe twice, maybe three times.”

And just in case you didn’t get the point, she added:

“You’ve got motor voter registration on the day of the election, we’ve got voter rolls that haven’t been purged of dead people in years, where the Democrats have resisted that. Think about that, it is a plot to remake America. To replace American citizens with illegals.”

This ‘great replacement theory’ first came to prominence during the 2017 neo-Nazi march in Charlottesville, VA when the white nationalists chanted “Jews will not replace us”. These demented people believe that progressive elites are binging in Hispanics to replace white Americans. Which raises the question, where do all the replaced white Americans end up?

In the classic 1956 horror movie, ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ humans are replaced with extraterrestrials grown in pods, each exactly resembling a particular individual. But the film does not explain where the replaced humans go. And neither does Pirro.

And that’s where these conspiracy theories fall apart. They lack internal logic. Consider the one where the UN is going to take over the US and dictate land use policy. What is the mechanism of this takeover? The UN has no standing military. And if they did, how would they win a war against America in America?

We ignore international bodies we don’t like. So the UN could go blue in the face for all the good the resolutions and finger-wagging would do.

And then there is the gun grab theory. How does that work? Is a SWAT team sent to every gun owner’s house in the US? Even if police departments across the US had the manpower — which I highly doubt — do gun zealots really think that the governors of red states would allow it?  Even blue states would hardly be receptive to some presidential fiat. 

So would the government send in the army? Hardly. In the unlike event of some such order I suspect the military ‘planning’ would take so long that the idea would sputter out. (Aside: I believe the Chiefs of Staff have a similar contingency slow down in the event an unhinged Trump orders a nuclear strike.)

Pirro’s host Todd Starnes is no stranger to hyperbole. He recent compared immigrants to Nazi invaders. Which is absurd. Where are their tanks, artillery, and dive-bombers — their mechanized people transports? If Starnes wants to use Nazi imagery, a better comparison would be to the moneyless, persecuted Jews soon to be sent to concentration camps. Yes, that’s more accurate.

But, back to Pirro and her xenophobic rantings. She claims these ‘illegals’, with their freshly minted driver’s licenses, would be out there voting ‘maybe three times’. But despite Kris Kobach and Trump’s desperation to find voter fraud, none showed up. If Americans can’t vote three times how is an ‘illegal’ going to do it? And if ‘illegals’ (there are 11 million) aren’t already voting, on what grounds can Pirro claim new ones will — even once? 

Pirro isn’t a one-hit-wonder. She made serial prognostications of Obama power-mad, power-grabs that never materialized. Much as Pat Robertson has been 100% wrong on his cataclysmic decimation predictions.

Now she has a new book out, ‘Radicals, Resistance, and Revenge. The Left’s Plot to Remake America’. Here’s her description of it: “This is about the left’s plot to remake America. Where there’s no more presumption of innocence, no more free speech & where law & order is gone.” This book picks up from where her previous effort left off. “Liars, Leakers, and Liberals: The Case Against the Anti-Trump Conspiracy”. 

I guarantee that, if you were to read either one, none of her arguments would have any more coherence than her theory of white replacement. However, I won’t be reading either as I recommend against books with alliterative titles. That literary technique is a favorite of neophyte high school essayists and shallow thinkers. (See Mike Huckabee and “God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy.)

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