On the 700 Club today, Pat Robertson offered his opinion of God’s likely reaction to the passage of the “Equality Act”. As this measure would extend the protections of the Civil Rights Act to people based on their sexuality and gender identity Pat’s perspective was bleak and his prediction dire. The Bill’s passage would be, he said:

“a devastating blow to religious freedom and to the sanctity of America.”  

I have to think that with the stubby-fingered vulgarian President breaking bread with leading evangelical hypocrites and biblical cherry-pickers the sanctity of America has been raped in a dark alley and left with her throat slit.

And the bill will have no effect on heterosexual Christians born with a gender identity that lines up with their physical appearance. It doesn’t require the straight to become gay or mandate that you must ignore your naughty bits and arbitrarily declare yourself to be the other sex.

Just in case Pat’s audience wasn’t on point yet or had missed the first warning due to a bathroom break, he repeated himself:

“Don’t let these people get away with this nonsense. This is absolutely outrageous. It’s an attack on your religious freedom.”

There is no quit in the man. Robertson never fights harder than when his right to discriminate is threatened.

And then Pat dragged the big guy in:

“If you want to bring the judgment of God on this nation, you just keep this stuff up. You know, I was reading in Leviticus where it said, ‘Because of these things, the land will vomit you out’.” 

Robertson treats the Bible like teenage boys (and girls for all I know) used to treat classic literature. They would rip through books trying to find the dirty bits. (Aside: Perhaps they still do, but the internet has taken much of the mystery out of life)

Anyway, back to Pat. I’ll bet his greasy fingerprints are all over Leviticus 20. Not that he’ll ever tell you about the spiritualists, mediums, parent-cursers and all the straight people stoned to death or exiled — just the gay stuff.

For the grand finale, Robertson gave us his opinion of what comes next:

“I think God will say, ‘I’ve had it with America, if you do this kind of stuff, I’m going to get rid of you as a nation’.”

And he added details about the impending apocalypse, although he seemed to be guessing:

[The] “curse of God” could arrive in the form of nuclear war, a “solar strike,” or “something on our [electric] grid, you could go down the line of devastation that could happen to our nation.”

Should we be scared? Is God about to get ‘rid of’ us as a nation? The good news is that Pat’s record as a prognosticator has been pathetic. Let’s review.

In 1976, Robertson Predicted that the end of the world was coming in the fall of 1982. In 1980 he doubled down: “I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world.”

In 2004, God told Robertson that Bush was a shoo-in for a new term because God had told him it would be a one-sided election. As he told his audience on the 700 Club: “I really believe I’m hearing from the Lord it’s going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It’s shaping up that way.” 

Bush did win — but the ‘blowout’ part failed to materialize. And soon Bush was mired in endless war and a recession while God ‘picked’ Obama. Or perhaps it was just the voters.

In 2006, Robertson declared storms, and maybe a big wave would hit America’s coastline sometime the same year. Robertson claimed four times he had received this revelation from God: “If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms.” Adding: “There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest.” 

Hell, I could predict that the coasts of America would be ‘lashed’ by storms and be right. But in 2006, like Pat, I would have been wrong. It was the least active hurricane season in 10 years, without a single named storm hitting the US. And as for the tsunami — don’t ask.

In 2007, he predicted mass killings in a terrorist attack. It didn’t happen. In 2008, he predicted a recession and a stock market collapse in 2010. The US was already in recession, and the stock market crash hit its nadir in January 2009.

Also in 2008, he predicted an Israeli strike an Iran. Consequently, Iran and Syria would launch nuclear attacks. In Pat’s opinion “We will suffer grave economic damage, but will not engage in military action to stop the conflict. However, we may not be spared nuclear strikes against coastal cities. In conclusion, it is my opinion that we have between 75 and 120 days before the Middle East starts spinning out of control.”  

In 2012, he said that God had told him Mitt Romney would win the presidency and would be a two-term President.

So we’re safe. Robertson’s failure to predict anything correctly is only outdone by Trump’s serial business failures.

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