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- parking entrepreneurs
They tow all makes with
enthusiasm and greed.
What a slimy scam. - surprise, it’s wholesome
Click on a cartoon
to discover heartwarming
vibes and pure intent. - love your body
We mourn what shape we
could have been and fret over
the shape we’re in now. - the gift card that never came
Checked the mailbox each
day for a special surprise.
All I got was junk. - matching glasses, matching tennies
We look so cute side
by side in identical
pairs of specs and sneaks. - where did we park again?
I placed the pin in
the map app, but it led us
to an empty lot. - the time to go costume shopping is 2 weeks ago
Getting down to the
crummy outfits and props left
on the empty shelves. - bones all the way down
Scare the kids with a
massive show of creepiness …
12-foot skeleton! - ode to big brother
To the blindsides and
vetoes, the hook-ups and back
doors, and showmances! - writers vs. chatgpt
No way John Henry
could shovel as much crap as
the modern AI. - strikes across america
The labor movement
is reawakening with
vigor and vision. - dishwasher on strike
No more scrubbing pots
and pans, rinsing utensils
or spraying soiled plates. - pivot to video
On the one hand, too
cumbersome and dull. On the
other hand, TikTok. - shiny new fences
Plank by plank they went
up, to hide their hideous
yards from the neighbors. - tricks 2023
Egg their electric
car; ask if treats are keto
friendly; indict them. - the parade of t-shirts
Her love of music
shone brightest in the shirts she
wore to big concerts. - if i should fall down
Call the police, call
the paramedics and get
me some painkillers. - the hits of yesteryear
I remember most
of the songs charted in my
adolescent days. - too weak to declutter
Stuff stays stuff because
the alternative is to
get rid of some stuff. - the chores no mores
You could clean the house,
do laundry, wash dishes. Or
live in grownup filth. - the tracker
Know where your loved ones
are at all times, or until
they turn off the app. - most popular weirdos
They seem to be the
It Couple when it comes to
eclectic groupies. - rocket rest area
North Alabama
along I-65 stands
a Saturn 1B. - halloween 2023
A million Barbies
and Kens in a sea of pink
outfits and cocktails. - we’re all shilling something
Artwork, classes, books,
pimento cheese, necklaces,
essential oils. - first amendment
Freedom of speech, press,
religion, assembly and
call on government. - candy opus
There’s nothing like Trick
or Treating in the wild and
receiving full bars. - the annual sickness
From outta nowhere,
a sore throat and an achy
head to wreck my week. - at the movies with taylor swift
Thirty-foot-tall star
struts and sings with the whole world
singing along, too. - rain at the amphitheater
Waiting for the band,
a storm swoops in to drench us
for a few minutes. - the age of streaming
They used to bundle
channels. Now they bundle shows
and movies. Can’t win. - the power of now
Measuring time in
minutes? Try moments to keep
you present always. - keep your unpopular opinions to yourself
Eastern Europe, the
Middle East, reparations,
abortion and guns. - peak fall
Wrapped in a sweater,
walking through leaves with a hot
mug of fresh cider. - humanitarian pauses
When we stop for a
moment and let people live
without doubt or fear. - not everything has to be a musical
A book to a film
to a sequel to a play
to another film. - women and poc and queer artists
See their movies, buy
their books, hit their concerts and
spend to support them. - those who have seen war
Those who have seen war
clamor for peace and friendship
among our nations. - forgot priming
Move all furniture,
tape all edges, put down tarps,
mix a color, paint. - nose-to-tail dining
A piece of chicken
gnawed to the bone. Very clean
and very Asian. - the interminable job listing
Must have these 20
skills. Five years experience.
For “entry level.” - crumbs everywhere
On the seat and in
the folds of clothing. On the
floor and round the mouth. - more options than time
Do power users
learn all the shortcuts? Or do
they make do with some? - no encores
The house lights came on.
The audience stopped clapping.
The house lights came on. - waiting for the tow truck
Smoke is coming from
the engine. At least nothing
is on fire. Yet. - the right analogy
It can crystallize
a thought or lock in a way
to visualize. - the perception of crime
Are these streets safe? It
all comes down to personal
experiences. - inflation deflation
Shopping at the store
brings shock after sticker shock.
Just trying to eat. - the invisible pedestrians
They walk in the tall
shadows of night, not very
streetwise nor secure. - no strangers at the table
Breaking bread, sharing
wine. All are welcome at this
motley gathering. - unleash the mariah
I just want you … Make
my wish come true. All I want
for Christmas is you. - celebrity memoirs
Before they were some-
body, they were nobody.
Everybody cheer. - hot christmas gifts 2023
Some kitchen device,
bitcoin gift card, custom soap,
bulletproof clothing. - the world is slowly dying
A warming Earth needs
not an infestation of
us callous mammals. - the seventeenth best leader
Sometimes you gotta
lower your standards to put
anyone in charge. - tv as homework
Watch each show with a
notebook to remember all
the names and events. - kicked off tiktok
Stand up for what you
believe and be lumped in with
all the cranks and scum. - life in a food desert
Surrounded by fast
food and gas marts, unable
to buy fresh items. - the cardboard rainbow
Picking paint colors
from dozens of shades of green
and gray leaves me blue. - painting the rec room
Tape down the edges.
Don’t drip on the carpet! Make
sure the paint’s even. - to kill a mockingbird
Small town justice plays
out before a young girl’s eyes
in the dark Deep South. - too many apps
One for banking, one
for texting, one for social
media et al. - modern christmas shopping
Visit stores and sites
or give all your money to
Amazon.com? - i’m not comfortable in this body
The shape I’m in is
unrecognizable to
my earlier self. - do re mi ay ay ay
Forget the hits. Hang
on to novelty songs that
unite us in hate. - mr. fixit
He can take any
household project and turn it
into one less chore. - exercising privilege
I can ignore things
in the news and retreat to
my secret safe space. - apartheid state
Those in power keep
residents under foot through
violent enforcement. - lessons in love
Learning that you are
capable of giving and
receiving true love. - the suspect mold
Becoming tired
from out of nowhere. Having
trouble with breathing. - counting my spoons
Plan for the day: Take
out the trash. Eat leftovers.
Spot clean the bathroom. - setting boundaries
No, Mom, you can’t talk
to me that way. It’s over
the line and too harsh. - the recurring trip to the in-laws
Oh, the terrible
food and mandatory group
pic. Family sucks. - the cooking equation
A question of base
ingredients, prep tools and
time before dinner. - forming habits
Incremental change
brings gradual but steady
improvement each day. - a chance to shine
We all need a chance
to shine, to show off our skills
and benevolence. - what we have left of the year
Not counting weekends
and holidays, no time left
to dillydally. - the darkness and the coldness
Let winter come. Let
it bury us in chilly
nights. Let winter come. - their christmas day tradition
Hit the cineplex
to watch the worst movie while
giggling in horror. - fancy scoops
The chefs conspired
on gourmet ice cream flavors
never seen before. - even kwanzaa and hanukkah
Multicultural
Santa respects and loves all
holiday customs. - joy to this world
I used to have the
holiday spirit. Got to
get that back somehow. - appointments of fate
What planner you pick
determines if your new year
goes well or badly. - the creature in the crawl space
Some animal is
roaming down there and leaving
gifts of poo and stank. - the tiniest country
It sits atop an
offshore platform and boasts a
robust royalty. - banned words, 2023 edition
AI, X, EGOT,
ChatGPT, FYP
and dystopian. - the joy of creation
Words and music, knives
and paintings, whatever you
make really matters. - the party to end all parties
Let’s have one more toast
to celebrate before it’s
2024. - a clean slate
Time to start anew.
New hopes, new dreams and new goals.
The new year awaits. - will there be enough time this year?
For getting enough
exercise, reading books or
planting a garden. - pretend snow
A pretend blizzard
with a pretend fire for
a pretend snuggle. - will it start?
Press the button. No.
Press it again. No. Press. No.
Press. No. Press. Yes. Whew. - crisp $100 bills
Barely used, always
welcome. Peel them off and show
everyone who’s boss. - life in a war zone
Crowding in basements,
feeling the booms of shelling,
too aware of death. - gift card jubilee
Where to eat and drink,
to shop and spend this heaping
virtual bounty. - mom in the wild
Nurtures, but also
accuses. Sometimes friendly
but also prickly. - kid chefs
A kitchen alive
with activity as they
whip up gourmet meals. - midlife crisis van trip
Gone for 3 days to
find himself. Only to come
back still douchey. - escape with fiction
Enough self help! She
wants to lose herself in a
mystery romance. - the helper
Issuing gentle
reminders, keeping eyes on
the clock, pitching in. - those darn personality tests
They purport to show
our true selves. But they distort
our complex nature.
• • •
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