Indians settled in the United States have a saying, "If you are lucky you will get an American son-in-law, and if unlucky, you will get an American daughter-in-law!'
And in this statement lies the essence of India's traditions, so bound against the woman. An American son-in-law is welcome for he will behave like a Normal Human being, expect no dowry, no special favours , and not expect to be treated like a demi-god. He will help your daughter around the house, and when he comes over for a visit or even a meal he will share the chores and wash the dishes. What a relief in a country where there are no servants!
But an American daughter-in-law would also behave like a normal human being, not sacrificing her interests, or subjugating her will, or herself to her in-laws who expect to be treated as the most important people in her life. She will not let them take all her decisions - what she should wear, what she should cook for her husband, when she should have a child, how she should look after the baby, what food to give the baby, when she should visit her family and friends ... the list can go on. The poor in-laws! She has robbed them of all the pleasures they thought would be theirs when they became the parents of a boy, their ticket to lifelong security, salvation and a pretty gilded slave, to carry out all their biddings!
What is more, the American daughter-in-law doesn't even bring dowry, and worse, makes their precious son work in the kitchen and around the house. Indian mothers, as you know, cannot bear the sight of their sons in the kitchen.
So great is the longing for a son among Indian parents, that they do not hesitate to do away with the daughter. For in these days of high costs it is expensive bringing up a child and who wants daughters when they would rather have a son. So as Indian families become smaller, the girl is sacrificed. Like this father in Hyderabad tried to do. Even as I write, somehow calling him a 'father' seems so bizarre. A person like him should be called a fiend and put behind bars. But no, in our society behaving in this shocking way against the female of the species is tolerated. The sympathy is with the poor man for being saddled with a daughter!
