Alright, folks, let’s talk about this Ship in the Red Sea. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that when a ship starts taking on water, the last thing you want to do is sit around and wait for someone else to fix it. But what do I know? I’m just a comedian. These geniuses running the world, they’ve got it all figured out, right?

The ship is apparently awaiting salvage. Let me tell you, if I ever find myself on a sinking ship, the last thing on my mind would be awaiting anything. “Oh, we’re sinking? Fantastic! Let’s just chill here and wait for someone to salvage our sorry butts.” It’s like waiting for a miracle, but in the middle of the ocean where absolutely nothing can save you except for, you know, acting quickly and efficiently.

And the term “stricken ship” is just the kind of poetic nonsense I love. It’s like they expect us to sip our lattes and ponder the sufferings of a boat while we wait for Big Salvage to swoop in and save the day. Oh, the poor stricken boat! It’s enduring such hardship! Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure the people on board are less worried about poetry and more worried about, you know, not drowning.

Now, I get it, decisions need to be made. But does it have to take this long? Are we assembling a panel of experts from the world’s top universities to discuss the complex nature of water and how it might be problematic when inside a ship? Should we consult with an underwater philosopher to really grasp the conundrum here?

But no, instead, as always, bureaucracy rears its ugly head. These are the same folks who take six months to decide on a new logo for a government agency. And now they’re responsible for saving a ship? It’s like if someone asked your cat to write a novel. Sure, it might hit some keys, but let’s not expect much out of it.

Let’s get real. If this ship were a metaphor for our current state of global politics, we’d all be underwater by now. But, oh no, we’ve got this big, shiny machine coming to salvage us from the mistakes that we’ve somehow convinced ourselves are unavoidable. The government could have used their typical efficiency to sort this out, but here we are—sinking.

Think about it: we can send a rover to Mars, but we can’t figure out how to keep a ship afloat? I mean, who’s running this operation? I’d like to speak to the manager of the universe because this whole setup has some serious flaws. We’re how many years into human civilization, and boats sinking is still a problem we haven’t solved?

And while we’re pondering the ineptitude, let’s not forget about those corporate types who are sitting in their air-conditioned offices, earning their six-figure salaries, and probably chuckling at our boat’s misfortune. These are the same folks who get paid a bonus when they cut costs—by hiring fewer lifeboats. Oh, you didn’t think we needed more lifeboats? Just trust us.

So, what’s the plan now? I suppose we could write a sternly worded letter to the ocean, telling it to knock it off. Perhaps we could get a talking to Neptune himself to see if he could grant us a favor. We’ve exhausted all our other options, like waiting and praying.

Speaking of gods and miracles, let’s get back to reality. We’re left to rely on some poor schmuck with a salvaging company to save the day. This guy’s been waiting by his phone for years, hoping for a call that finally makes his underwater Superhero dreams come true. And here we are—a ship taking on water, waiting for the stoned Spiderman of salvages to swing by and save us.

Look, the truth is that this is the kind of absurdity you only see in cartoons and, apparently, real life. It’s like watching Wile E. Coyote waiting for the Acme Crane to stop his fall into the canyon. You can’t make this stuff up. And here we are, slapping some duct tape on the hull and hoping for the best while we put our faith in the mythical beast of salvage operations.

In closing, maybe it’s time for a new approach. Let’s cut the wait. Let’s take radical action, like DOING SOMETHING before sinking happens. Sure, it might sound crazy, but it just might work. Until then, let’s all just sit back, relax, and enjoy the view while watching the ship sink because what else are we gonna do? Be competent?

This is why I say: the best salvage operation is the one where we don’t mess things up in the first place. But until we figure that out, we’ll be here, waiting for someone to come in and save our sinking ship from itself.

Source: Stricken Red Sea Ship Is Taking on Water as It Awaits Salvage

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