It’s official, folks. We’ve reached the point in our political circus where we’ve got a trucker launching a bid for governor. Let me say that again for the folks in the back: a trucker. Running for governor. And not just any trucker—Ed the Trucker. This sounds less like a political campaign and more like the knockoff action figure you’d find at a dollar store. Who’s endorsing him? Optimus Prime?

Ed’s campaign kickoff is equivalent to having a root canal without anesthesia—with jazz hands. It’s like watching a narcoleptic sloth try to win a 100-meter dash. The sheer absurdity of it makes me think we should all be wearing clown shoes and juggling flaming torches.

Seriously, what’s next? Are we going to elect a barista for Secretary of State because they can keep up with ten coffee orders at once? Oh look, they asked for a mocha latte! Clearly, they can negotiate international treaties. Spoiler alert: getting your name right on a Starbucks cup is not a sign of leadership genius.

And let’s just marinate in the fact that Ed predicts a Trump upset. That’s right. The guy who spent more time behind a steering wheel than reading a policy paper thinks he’s Nostradamus. My question is what kind of upset are we talking about here? Are we thinking Trump loses, or Trump finally admits he’s a robot sent back in time to ruin the year 2020? Inquiring minds want to know!

It’s even more comical when you realize Ed probably thinks “Civics” is just a brand of Honda. His experience in politics is akin to my experience with underwater basket weaving—completely non-existent. The last time he discussed international diplomacy, he probably thought NAFTA was a type of tortilla chip.

Look, Ed, I get it, the whole everyman appeal schtick. It’s like saying hey, if a guy who drives a truck can run for governor, maybe I can win a Nobel Prize just for surviving 2020. Who knows? Maybe next we’ll have a plumber running for Senate. Their slogan? Draining the swamp, one pipe at a time!

This whole thing would be hilarious if it wasn’t so depressingly real. And don’t get me started on the fact that an actual human being with a job title that sounds like it belongs in a children’s book series is making headlines. It’s like we’re living in some reject reality TV show where the prize is a four-year lease on existential despair.

What’s next, a game show to decide who runs for office? Spin the Wheel of Misfortune! Contestant number one is Ed the Trucker! Contestant number two has a hamster who is also running for mayor. Spin the wheel and find out who governs your state!

And this brings us to the larger issue: the chronic lowering of the political bar. It’s like we’re on a perpetual limbo contest of diminishing returns. Candidates that filled us with hope are now replaced by characters who think a filibuster is something you order at a seafood restaurant.

The real kicker? Someone, somewhere is listening to Ed and thinking, you know what, he’s got a point. As they say, stranger things have happened. It’s the kind of logic that might make you want to book a one-way ticket to Mars or start building an underground bunker.

Let me be clear, it’s not that truckers can’t run for office. But let’s be honest, if your qualifications make you exceptional at avoiding potholes and parallel parking, maybe—just maybe—you’re not equipped to handle problems like healthcare and international diplomacy. Last time I checked, leaving a voicemail two minutes longer than your actual policy speech isn’t the sign of a great leader.

So here we are, folks. Ed the Trucker is tossing his hat into the political ring, and it’s less of a hat and more of a greasy, old baseball cap. It’s the epitome of throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. In this case, all we can hope is that it slides down quietly without leaving a stain.

If Trump is indeed upset, it’s only because he didn’t think of the “everyman” angle first. Imagine Trump in a rig delivering speeches at truck stops. Four more years of blaring horns and exhaust fumes! Just the ticket America needs.

Folks, this isn’t just a political campaign; it’s like watching a reality TV show on mute while blindfolded. If this latest spectacle doesn’t make you want to invest in a pair of noise-canceling headphones and a lifetime supply of Advil, I don’t know what will.

In conclusion, if Ed pulls this off, we might need to revisit the whole concept of reality. Maybe I’ll run for President next. My slogan? Make Sanity Great Again.

Source: Former NJ state Sen ‘Ed the Trucker’ launches bid for governor and predicts a Trump upset

The post Politics on Autopilot: When Truckers Become Governors, What Could Go Wrong? first appeared on DEMOCRAWONK.