Have you ever been to a hospital? It’s basically a place where the air is filled with antiseptic and the faint scent of despair. Then I saw this gem from The Guardian: California hospital hosts wedding so ailing dad can walk daughter down aisle. I mean, first of all, what aromatic potpourri are they putting in the air over there that says ‘Weddings this way!’? This isn’t exactly the place you’d expect to hear Mendelssohn’s Wedding March.

ICU – traditionally, this stands for Intensive Care Unit. But apparently over in California, it stands for Intense Celebration Union! We’ve officially crossed the threshold where wedding venues can be absolutely anywhere.

Getting married in a hospital is just a step away from saying I do in an underground bunker. Hey, there’s a pandemic coming, let’s get hitched next to the respirator!

I always knew hospitals had a sense of drama. Hell, every time I walk in there, I feel like I’m a part of a poorly-produced soap opera. “Doctor, I need 20ccs of Prozac, stat!” But a wedding? Move aside, romantic beach sunsets. It’s time for IV drips and stethoscopes as décor!

Why stop with weddings?

Picture this: your baby shower, right between the oncology ward and the orthopedics department. Nothing sets the mood quite like radiation therapy while someone shouts, “It’s a boy!” I can see it now: Streamers hanging over biohazard containers, cake being served on surgical trays, and games like “Guess the baby’s weight… in milliliters.” Let’s be honest, the doctor might even mistake it for a very confusing health fair.

On a related note, can you imagine the logistics of a hospital wedding? The planning must have been a hoot. “Should we put the cake next to the defibrillator or under the ‘Exit’ sign?” Don’t even get me started on the reception. “Please, no dancing in the hallways. You might trip over an oxygen tank!”

Rescheduling your life

I can even think of the invitations: “Join us for an ICU wedding. Oxygen provided. Heartbeat optional.” RSVPs could look like medical forms, doctors included as part of the wedding party. “Cardiologist for the best man, please!”

And the vows, oh god the vows. “I promise to love you in sickness, health, during flu seasons, when we run out of disinfectant, and even when your hospital gown flares open at the back.”

What’s next? Are we going to broadcast these hospital weddings on TLC? “Say Yes to the Surgery” or maybe “Triage Brides.” Tune in to see which bride flatlines from excitement first!

Real heroes of the day

The real unsung heroes of this story are the hospital staff, who now double as wedding planners. Here they are, trying to save lives, and suddenly they’re also responsible for making sure the DJ doesn’t play “Staying Alive” inappropriately. You have to respect that kind of multitasking. Who else but a nurse can simultaneously administer morphine and handle floral arrangements?

Let’s think logistics here. The photographer is in the Operating Room, taking artful shots of the bride’s radiance juxtaposed with sterile steel. The groom’s boutonniere is a hospital wristband. The aisle runner? It’s that sticky mat outside the OR.

We gotta applaud the Valley Forge-level courage of anyone who decides the apex of their intimacy needs to share bodily fluids and hospital linens on the same day.

New horizons in wedding services

You know what, though? Let’s give credit where credit is due. This is also a solid way to pick your wedding date without a second of debate. “Honey, when’s your next hernia surgery scheduled? There, we’ll get married right then and there.”

Let’s talk registries. “A beautiful blender for the new couple… and 15 boxes of nitrile gloves,” because nothing says prepared for life’s curveballs like combining monogrammed towels with medical-grade face masks.

Marketing spin-offs are endless!

Have you heard of destination weddings? Well, now we have desperation weddings, because nothing says ‘forever’ like exchanging vows flanked by EKG machines. I can only imagine the glowing Yelp reviews. “Five stars—best wedding ever in Ward 3B. Complimentary sanitizer was a nice touch!”

End of the day

But honestly, let’s bring it back to Earth for a second. This is a heartwarming story, and if you can’t get a little misty-eyed at the thought of love prevailing through IV lines and EKG beeps, you might need to check your pulse – literally! Maybe they aren’t redefining romance as we know it; maybe they’re showing us that when you strip away the taffeta, fancy venues, and overpriced cakes, love truly does find a way. Even if that way is down a corridor that smells like chlorhexidine and despair.

Source: California hospital hosts wedding so ailing dad can walk daughter down aisle

The post Caught the Love Bug? Get Married in an ICU and Say ‘I Flu’! first appeared on DEMOCRAWONK.