Source: Favoring Foes Over Friends, Trump Threatens to Upend International Order
In a move that has everyone from high school history teachers to your average Joe scratching their heads in wonderment, our dearest former President Trump has yet again demonstrated his knack for geopolitical shenanigans. This man, who once wielded the mighty pen of the presidential Twitter account, has taken a sledgehammer to the already cracked foundation of international diplomacy. In an article that reads like a plot twist no one asked for, Trump is threatening to turn the established world order into his own personal game of Jenga—except he’s blindfolded and the blocks are made of nitroglycerin.
- Threat Level Midnight: YOLO Edition
It seems Trump has mistaken international relations for a Vegas casino, betting the house on his own brand of diplomacy. Alienating allies and cozying up to adversaries is his version of hitting the jackpot. Who needs friends when you can have frenemies, right?
- NATO Shmato: Reimagining Friendship
Remember when NATO was like the Avengers of international politics? Trump clearly prefers a solo act. He’s doing the whole ‘tear down and rebuild’ but, spoiler alert, without the rebuild part. I guess in his eyes, NATO is just another acronym that’s getting in the way of making friends with the cool kids who run with scissors.
- Economic Tug-of-War: Who Needs Stability Anyway?
Trump’s economic policy seems to be less about strategy and more about whimsy. Who needs stability when you can have the adrenaline rush of economic uncertainty? It’s like every day is Black Friday, but instead of discounted TVs, it’s our global standing on sale.
- Climate Change: The Art of the Ignore
Climate change? Never heard of her. According to our star, it’s just the planet trying to get a little attention. Why deal with rising sea levels when you can just buy taller golf shoes?
- Tech Wars: Tweeting Towards Progress
Embracing the digital age means understanding cyber-security, unless you’re Trump. He seems to prefer the ‘ignore it and maybe it’ll upgrade itself’ approach. If only international policy could be solved with a good hashtag campaign.
- Diplomatic Innovations: The Wheel is Overrated Anyway
Why go with the reliable when you can reinvent the wheel and make it square? It’s Trump’s world, and we’re just living in it—bumpily.
- Budgeting Like a Boss: Money Grows on Trees
In the magical world of Trump’s economics, deficits are just a myth, and money apparently grows on trees—mostly on the ones at Mar-a-Lago.
- The Environment: Green is the New Orange
Trump might be the only person who can make green the new orange. Forget renewable energy—let’s burn coal and call it a day. Who’s up for some fossil fuel s’mores?
- Tech Diplomacy: Keep It 100… IQ Points
In a complex digital world, simplicity is key. And what’s simpler than ignoring the complex web of cyber-security and intellectual property rights? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
- Making America Great Again: One Tweet at a Time
If leading a country is like a chess game, then Trump is playing checkers—with himself. And he’s winning, folks, bigly.
The Hot Take
In a world where common sense is as rare as a Trump Steak at a vegan potluck, our beloved former commander-in-chief is serving up chaos with a side of ‘why not?’ One can’t help but admire the unapologetic bravado with which he flips the bird at political norms. So, here’s a hot take fresh out of the liberal oven: let’s use this as an opportunity to rethink how things are done.
Let’s move past these antiquated notions of ‘diplomacy’ and ‘alliance’ and into a brave new world of ‘doing things that actually make sense’. We can start by promoting digital literacy, boosting renewable energy, and reinstating those cute little things called treaties and environmental accords. We can lean into the crazy and come out more robust on the other side, kind of like exposure therapy but on a global scale. If we can survive this, we can survive anything.
The post “The Art of the Deal, International Edition: Breaking Alliances to Make Friends in Low Places” first appeared on Democrawonk.