Well, it’s beginning to look like we’ve escaped the cruel hand of Pestilence after all. I’m relieved, cuz Pandemic Apocalypse is one of the most boring heat-deaths you can draw. It’d have been better to pick a fight with the UFOs the government are suddenly admitting exist. Think about it! All we gotta do, right, is send Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum at ’em while Randy Quaid achieves full rectal penetration of their mothership, then we steal their future-tech and become space pirates. SPACE PIRATES! But normalcy is reasserting itself, which means the Gentleman is getting back to work checking out DC’s I71 weed-gifting storefronts. Case in point, I visited No Kids Allowed in Eastern Market this week!
What impressed me most about New Kids Allowed was how much it felt like licensed dispensaries I’ve visited elsewhere. The ample lobby space offers plenty of comfortable seating from which you can admire the art on the walls and slickly branded apparel while you wait to be called back. The shop room is similarly spacious, with a pair of professional, wooden display cabinets full of THC gifts to choose from. Glassware, smoking accessories, and CBD products adorn the shelves. Frankly, I was blown away to see the work of DC’s most iconic and prolific muralist, Aniekan Udofia, gracing TWO of their shop room walls. Count the Gentleman a fan.
I picked up a sample of No Kids Allowed’s house strain, Jet Fuel, to review, along with a pack of their Leaf Ninja pre-rolls. I can heartily recommend both. The Leaf Ninja pre-rolls are actually slow-burning Futurola mini-blunt cones. The weed these are stuffed with is indeed high quality and free of any noticeable defect, but the blunt paper is a lot heavier than the RAW paper to which I’m accustomed, so I couldn’t finish one in a single session. Leaf Ninja’s packaging is very professional. The slim, hard-case box features a magnetic cover, contains a glass tip and matches in the top cubby, and the seven pre-rolls are seated comfortably side by side in the main compartment. Plus the art on both sides, an oni surrounded by dragons, is hella cool. Are we still saying hella? No? Fine.
As for the Jet Fuel, the 3.1 Weed Point Average it earned speaks for itself:
AROMA: 3 (Eucalyptus)
FLAVOR: 3
SMOKE: 4
ESSENTIAL GRADES PASSED!
TRICHOMES: 3
RESIN: 0
SEEDS: 4
MANICURE: 4
STRUCTURE: 2
MOISTURE: 4
DENSITY: 4
OVERALL GRADE: 3.1 WPA
(Psst. Want to know more about how the grading system works? Clarissa explains the whole thing here!)
No Kids Allowed also has some edibles that we’ve previously approved for quality here at GT like MOTA and Baghead Boys. And they’re conveniently located a block away from the Eastern Market metro station at 637 Pennsylvania Ave (Suite B) SE. Your Gentleman was quite taken with this shop- and I know you will be too! You can visit them online right here.
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