Welcome to
featuring
in
In our latest mind-blowing, fur-raising, most epically epic adventure to date when we attempt to travel around the wurld in 42 and a bit days!
What could possibly go wrong?
Pawesome greetings supurr pals
Welcome to Part XV of our saga, the FURRY LAST episode of The Last Big Jolly and so let's get started and see what the grand finale brings!
If mew're wundering where the links fur the previous episodes have gone, we have good news and we have bad news.
The bad news is, there aren't any. But the good news is, the series is being turned into a novel, so the posts have been taken down fur the time being while we make that happen and then mew'll be able to read it all offur and offur again, and all from one place - how pawesome is that!? MOL
>^.^
A quick recap from the last episode:
"Stop, wait, back-up," I said. "Bob dude, mew're really 30,000 years old?"
Bob nodded. "Basil I'm one of the last remaining immortals left in the entire universe."
I pondered all the possibilities, I remembered what the Creator had told me *BTW it's totally classified* and was mulling it all offur when Snowie and Humphrey both said. "Basil mew have to fix this, we'll be leaving really soon and we don't want to go elsewhere!" They pointed downwards.
Bob nodded. "Basil I'm one of the last remaining immortals left in the entire universe."
I pondered all the possibilities, I remembered what the Creator had told me *BTW it's totally classified* and was mulling it all offur when Snowie and Humphrey both said. "Basil mew have to fix this, we'll be leaving really soon and we don't want to go elsewhere!" They pointed downwards.
'OMC!' I thought. 'That would be totally heinous!"
I took a breath and said. "Dudes if it's the last thing we do, we take down the Eveeel One and save the gateway!"
"Basil can we fight with conventional weapons?" Parsley asked. "What wurks on souls of the damned fur full extermination?"
"Good point!" I said, then added. "Fudge hit that remote now."
Fudge pointed his remote unit towards the marching force and hit the green button.
Fudge pointed his remote unit towards the marching force and hit the green button.
**AND CUT**
Part XV
Battle Fur The Gateway
**And Action!**
There was a distinct 'click' as Fudge pressed the button and two seconds later the Para-light-boxes burst open.
Light was fading fast as I peered through the Cube of Averon and spied the army of dead still marching relentlessly with the Eveeel One driving them forward.
"Amber activate the perimeter snare," I instructed.
Amber clicked the remote she was holding, silent though highly effective.
The perimeter snare crackled into life and created a dome-like force field that covered the entire valley as the Para-light-boxes continued to pop open on their five second delay, and there were hundred's of them.
Bob tugged my paw. "Basil I think we're being flanked!" he said trembling and pointing behind us.
I checked the direction through the cube and nodded. "Bob little buddy, mew're right and I don't want to panic mew but we are completely surrounded by the Eveeel Ones army of souls."
I pointed as I turned in a complete circle.
Bob took the cube and looked at the seemingly endless army, then wailed and fell to his knees. "We're finished!" he cried in dismay.
Well, mew know how that kind of talk really gets my fur in a twist, so I took steps. "BOB!" I shouted offur his wailing. "BOB STOP WAILING DUDE!"
Snowie pushed a clean hanky into his mitten as I helped him stand up. He blew his nose loudly and seriously when I tell mew that it sounded like a fog horn being blown underwater mew'll know why we were chuckling.
"Bob dude, we've got this!" Parsley said as he and Smooch climbed aboard the ATV. "Smooch mew drive dude as on this terrain it might be a bit bumpy fur mew to shoot and keep your balance."
"Piffling would be!" Smooch snorted. "Just because I've got a leg missing doesn't mean I can't balance and shoot as we're traversing rough terrain, dude!"
I tutted and said. "Smooch drive, Parsley shoot, have mew guys got enough ammo boxes?"
They nodded, put on their ear-protection and Smooch opened the throttle and they tore off towards the army of souls.
Bob stared on in that fascinated kind of horror state, where mew want to look, but really mew don't want to look at all, but really mew just can't help yourself... then mew wished mew hadn't!
Smooch was a demon of a driver as he sped towards the nearest of the approaching enemy, he had an uncanny ability to know how far to push towards the front line before careening off. Parsley stood on the back of the ATV and he opened fire. It was incredible, they were the modern, nay the future equivalent of chariot riding gladiators. Smooch did a drive-by of all approaching forces as Parsley shot the freak out of effurything, it was insane to watch as with the naked eye there was nothing there.
They zoomed back to our position to reload as Amber, Snowie, Humphrey, Fudge and myself then Began to unleash our furry own brand of hell.
Humphrey had his Gatling mounted on a tripod [no not Smooch! MOL]. We each took up our compass positions and just let rip at the oncoming invisible force.
Just so mew can get an idea of how crazy it was, watch this...
Yep it was like that, only much much louder and we used more ammo, oh and we WHOOPED more too!
Anyhoo, Snowie kept firing her rocket launcher into the ever approaching army, Amber had got her AA12's and was firing from the hip, furry avante-garde if mew ask me. Fudge had his AR15 blasting at anything that moved, and I used my trusty Uzi's it was totally wild.
Aftur about eight minutes I yelled. "CEASE FIRE!"
Acrid gun smoke drifted through the valley like a grey veil, and there was that much spent brass on the ground it was glittering like gold in the low-light. Small fires were burning here and there, and darker smoke plumed skywards
Effurypurrdy stopped shooting and I took a moment to peer through the cube again. The army of souls was still advancing and the Eveeel One was moving towards the front. I picked up my sniper rifle and aimed through the sights, I had a clear head-shot and took it.
The Eveeel One recoiled as the bullet hit the mark, dead-centre [pardon the pun] and he fell to the ground. Bob began to clap and I put my hand on his head and said, "Shhhhhh little dude, we're just toying with this freaker right now!"
Suddenly the Eveeel One popped up and stood upright, appurrently not dead at all and furry much alive as he began to shout and gesticulate rather ferociously.
Pandora appeared and said in her odd little foreign accent. "Basil, the plan is vurking, when are ve implementing phase 3?"
I glanced around, the perimeter snare was still holding, the para-light-boxes were open and we needed to get the freak out of here before I gave the next order.
"Effurypurrdy back in the TTTB!" I yelled. "NOW!"
We all scrambled and piled inside the TTTB. The door shut, weapons were stowed and I gave the next order.
"Get us out of this force field now!" I said.
Humphrey was typing furiously on the engineering console. He said. "Pandora, on my mark... three... two... one... go!"
Pandora pushed the lever and the TTTB roared to life and we vanished out of the force field and reappeared on top of the hill near the Opal City.
"Fudge implement phase two!" I instructed.
Fudge clicked another button on his remote and seconds later purple light shot up from the 100's of Para-light-boxes ensnaring any souls that were in the light or near it, before snapping shut and trapping the entity's fureffur. Within three minutes 95% of the soul army had been captured and the Eveeel One was going off his dial trying to open the now sealed traps to release his army but to no avail.
He screamed and began to run towards the TTTB on top of the hill. As he reached Amber's force-field he stopped just shy of the red glowing energy cage.
"BASIL WHERE ARE YOU?" he screamed.
I opened the TTTB door and went outside followed by the B Team armed to the teeth.
"Mew called oh eveeel one!" I said rather sarcastically.
"I was told that you were rather ingenious, but I bet you didn't reckon on this happening did you pussy?" the Eveeel One spat as he gave a signal to some unknown near the gate. He waved again only more furiously and still nothing happened. He jumped up and down waving wildly at the gate while nothing happened; actually he looked like he was having a really, really bad day at this point and if he wasn't so evil I could have pitied him maybe purrhaps a smidge, but I didn't in the slightest as he was just too evil.
I stood, trying not to let the smile that was tugging at the comer of my mouth turn into a laugh but honestly I couldn't help it. Laughing I said. "Eveeel One, tut tut tut! Neffur try to out outmanoeuvre The B Team!"
He went mad. Like way beyond Furzeballs mad in the Klepto Bunny saga, and that was seriously mad.
I just laughed and pointed towards the beautiful gateway. "Someone as evil as mew will neffur stop good, and mew know why? Because there will always be somepurrdy like me to stop mew, and when I'm gone..." I pointed to my pawesome team. "The legacy lives on furever, good will always win!"
"The gate should have been destroyed by now!" the Eveeel One screeched.
"Oh yes, about that," I still laughed. "Our supurr sisfur Angel Posie took care of your minions there and the Gateway is safe."
The scream that the Eveeel One cried out was beyond anything I'd effur heard, it was feral, guttural and in all honesty fur a normal purrson, pawsitively pant-wetting.
I nudged Amber and gave her the nod. She pressed her remote and the force-field began to shrink... and shrink and shrink and shrink. We could still hear the Eveeel One's screams, though a lot more high pitched as it got to the size of an orange.
"Smaller or not?" Amber asked.
I looked at my team and grinned. "A bit smaller fur sure!"
The Eveeel One sounded really funny at this size, and we all laughed and laughed and laughed.
When the force-field had reached the size of a golf ball Amber stopped and Humphrey picked the glowing sphere up in a pair of tongs and carefully deposited it a jar, sealing the lid instantly and placed it inside a metal box. He closed the lid and handed it to Bob. "There mew go little dude, now go put that somewhere it will neffur be found again!"
Bobs eyes were the size of saucers as he gingerly took the small metal box from Humphrey. He let his paws glide across the silky metal box and then said, "Humphrey there aren't any seams on this box, it's one piece now."
Humphrey beamed. "That's one of my newest inventions, it's not patented yet so I can't talk about it, but it is purretty incredible!"
Fudge, Smooch and Parsley patted Humphrey on the back saying things like, "Dude, mew are the best!" and "Dude, mew're so clever, that is pawesome!" and "Dude, don't go, we need mew!"
It was that last one that smacked me right in the heart, like a harpoon. I had to turn away and wipe my eyes, I sniffed and then said. "OK guys time we made a move."
Posie appeared and so did nine other Fuzzykins with her. They were all pink like Bob only each one had a different metallic crest on their chests.
"Vhy don't mew 'ave that mark?" Pandora asked Bob.
Bob blushed and stared at us.
Then another Fuzzykin stepped forward and spoke. "My name is York and I am the last elder."
I stepped closer and proffered a paw, York grasped it and gave me the nod. "Thank you Basil fur saving the gateway, we are furry sorry about all the secrecy and subterfuge but it was necessary."
"Dude," Smooch said sidling up. "I need to ask mew guys a question."
York nodded.
"Why is it that mew guys, well Bob has some mad skillz and yet mew couldn't use them against the Eveeel One?"
"Ah," York began, his voice had the weight of eons. "That is because we can't fight our own kind!"
"What?!" we all blurted.
Bob stepped up. "The Eveeel One was once, many millennia ago one of our brethren, though he became disillusioned and unhappy..."
"He was your brother?" Fudge blurted.
The Fuzzykins nodded. "Indeed, he was," York continued. "Though he chose a path of darkness and destruction and vowed to end the light."
"He nearly did, but thank goodness Bob found the prophecy and went in search of mew young Basil!" York said.
"All Hail Basil! All Hail Basil! Saviour of the Gateway! All Hail Basil!" The Fuzzykins chanted happily.
"Guys, stop, stop!" I said feeling the blush heat my cheeks. "It wasn't only me, mew have The B Team to thank too!"
"All Hail The B Team! All Hail The B Team! All Hail The B Team! Saviours of the Gateway!" The Fuzzykins chanted again.
Bob was beaming as York approached him with a small metallic disc. "Young Fuzzykin, mew have proved your wurth and earned your mark, mew are now the Lord of Time!"
Bob took the disc in his right paw and then held it to his chest. A moment later the disc began to glow silver and grow. There's was a bright flash and the smell of singed fur and Bob stood there with the Time Lords mark emblazoned on his chest. Neffur had I effur seen anypurrdy so happy before.
Bob was beaming as bright as a supurr-nova as I congratulated him. "Without mew Basil I would have been the gofer fureffur, but now I am a true Guardian of the Gateway and as the Eveeel One has been defeated Catopia will thrive once again and new guardians will hatch."
I stared at him and he pointed towards a huge pink flower trumpet. "Look it's already begun!" It seemed to be pulsing, then it began to glow as it pulsed more fervently and then thirty seconds later it popped with a wet squelching sound.
We were covered in pink slime and goo which actually smelled like floral purrfume. As I wiped my eyes I saw a blurry image of a tiny Fuzzykin sitting in a pile of the fragrant goo on the grass. Other flowers began to pop and burst all around us and Bob and the other Fuzzykins squealed in delight as their numbers began to increase. The new hatchlings were furry cute and running all offur the place as we tried to round them up and herd them towards the Opal City.
Aftur the last hatchling was safely rounded up, we made our way back to the TTTB with Bob, stepping inside our Time Travelling Telephone Box Bob took a last look around before he handed me his rucksack.
"What's this Bob?" I asked.
He smiled and replied. "In there is something fur all of mew."
Parsley handed Bob a small book. "Bob dude this is from all of us to mew. So mew don't furget us!"
Bob opened the little book and inside were all the postcards of all the places we'd visited. He looked at some of the beautifully presented pages in the photo album [the three heathens are really amazing scrap-bookers in their spare time! MOL] and he began to cry.
"Mew have been the best furriends I've effur had and I really don't want mew to leave, but I know I can't come with mew either because I have to be at the Gateway fur Snowie and Humphrey," he sobbed.
"Group hug!" Snowie ordered fighting back her tears, we all obeyed and piled in on Bob.
**The End**
