TripleClicks, for anyone that doesn't know, is the militarized wing of the SFI affiliate program, it is their online super store. It makes me sad that whenever I describe it to someone their reply is always "oh, like Amazon". It's kind of like the sibling of a mega celebrity who, despite also being talented, is always being overlooked. It's Eric Roberts basically.
But, it's MY Eric Roberts damnit and I've been ignoring it as of late. So I spent a majority of the night a few nights ago browsing their gigantic catalog of quality products at competitive prices! However, lurking among the quality products at competitive prices are some pretty strange items. Since TripleClicks is my store and anyone that knows me knows I love bizarre things, I've taken it upon myself to gather these items in one spot. That spot is here and these 10 questionable items are probably the first of many.
For items 6-10 click here
1.) Empty Soda Can
Yes for the low low price of $6.99 you too can own an empty Coca-cola can featuring Indian cricket (?) star Sachin on it. This price has been marked down from $15.00 by the way, you'd be crazy not to buy it.
The seller explains that only 750,000 of these cans were made and therefore they MUST be collectible. That is pretty solid reasoning, it's why I still have my Dennis Rodman commemorative Sprite cans. I feel like opening and drinking the soda first kind of decreased the value though, but he probably only did that to cut down on shipping costs.
2.) Father Time Painting
Up next we have this Original Father Time Painting. It's original asking price of $350.00 has been slashed by half because apparently father time may have all the time in the world, but bill collectors don't. Speaking of bills it seems that at one point father time had to get a job as the GEICO caveman in order to make ends meet.
I'm not sure what type of person would purchase this with hopes of it hanging prominently on their walls but I'm guessing a lot of their time is devoted to optimizing tinfoil hat efficiency. Based on their suggested similar items section, TripleClicks seems equally baffled by this item.
3.) Christmas Toilet Cover
Despite being mid-July, this entry is still probably the least weird on this list but I included it more for its description.
Now I don't claim to be an expert on bathrooms or bathroom layouts, but, the toilet in the accompanying photo most certainly does NOT appear to be located in a bathroom. That toilet looks to be located in the corner of a dining room or something, which hints at some troubling Christmas dinners.
Aside from this however the item's description is rather curious. It's model number is given as "Christmas" which tells me TripleClicks made model number a required field and the seller just typed in whatever, when he failed to find a model number on it. Other item specifications include, "thickness" which is given as medium and "stocking leg height" which is given as foot cover. I'm honestly kind of afraid to even try figuring out how those two categories pertain to a toilet seat cover. Finally we have a "Light Source" field which the seller lists as luminous. Regardless of what I say about this product, based on its specifications, it sounds like you're going to be getting an amazing toilet seat cover. I just wonder how you'll contain the excitement of getting to use it for another five months.
4.) Bulk Stick on Googly Eyes
700 pieces of googly eyes of varying sizes! I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but if you are using enough googly eyes to justify buying this item then you are using far too many googly eyes in whatever it is you're doing with them. You are devaluing the already low comedic impact of googly eyes. I'm trying to think of a scenario where using this many googly eyes would be funny but I'm having trouble doing it. Maybe if you break into houses (something you shouldn't do ever) and your modus operandi is to stick googly eyes on every single family portrait on the walls before you leave? Anyway, the seller also gives you a discount if you buy more than one 700 piece set. This is a rather bold marketing move but the seller is probably just banking on the fact that no one would ever need 1400+ googly eyes.
5.) Magic Traveling Pillow
Look at this thing!! It makes you look like an extra from some Sci-Fi television series but you showed up to wardrobe late so all they had left was an early rejected turtle neck version of the shows costume. When I first saw that man up there, I figured I seen the stupidest possible way to use a pillow. Imagine my delight when just one picture later they would show me that I had not, in fact, seen the stupidest use of a pillow, by showing me a woman with the pillow wrapped around her face.
The description of this item states that it is made of foam, which is a good thing since anyone who finds nothing wrong with wearing a pillow around their face in public is probably the same type of person who shouldn't be around hard surfaces or sharp objects without some sort of protective foam gear. 4 stars for the low price of just $13.90 though.
Take this time now to gather your thoughts and/or purchase these wonderful items for your very own weird collection. When you're ready continue on to the second half of this list here.
But, it's MY Eric Roberts damnit and I've been ignoring it as of late. So I spent a majority of the night a few nights ago browsing their gigantic catalog of quality products at competitive prices! However, lurking among the quality products at competitive prices are some pretty strange items. Since TripleClicks is my store and anyone that knows me knows I love bizarre things, I've taken it upon myself to gather these items in one spot. That spot is here and these 10 questionable items are probably the first of many.
For items 6-10 click here
1.) Empty Soda Can
Yes for the low low price of $6.99 you too can own an empty Coca-cola can featuring Indian cricket (?) star Sachin on it. This price has been marked down from $15.00 by the way, you'd be crazy not to buy it.
The seller explains that only 750,000 of these cans were made and therefore they MUST be collectible. That is pretty solid reasoning, it's why I still have my Dennis Rodman commemorative Sprite cans. I feel like opening and drinking the soda first kind of decreased the value though, but he probably only did that to cut down on shipping costs.
2.) Father Time Painting
Up next we have this Original Father Time Painting. It's original asking price of $350.00 has been slashed by half because apparently father time may have all the time in the world, but bill collectors don't. Speaking of bills it seems that at one point father time had to get a job as the GEICO caveman in order to make ends meet.
I'm not sure what type of person would purchase this with hopes of it hanging prominently on their walls but I'm guessing a lot of their time is devoted to optimizing tinfoil hat efficiency. Based on their suggested similar items section, TripleClicks seems equally baffled by this item.
3.) Christmas Toilet Cover
Now I don't claim to be an expert on bathrooms or bathroom layouts, but, the toilet in the accompanying photo most certainly does NOT appear to be located in a bathroom. That toilet looks to be located in the corner of a dining room or something, which hints at some troubling Christmas dinners.
Aside from this however the item's description is rather curious. It's model number is given as "Christmas" which tells me TripleClicks made model number a required field and the seller just typed in whatever, when he failed to find a model number on it. Other item specifications include, "thickness" which is given as medium and "stocking leg height" which is given as foot cover. I'm honestly kind of afraid to even try figuring out how those two categories pertain to a toilet seat cover. Finally we have a "Light Source" field which the seller lists as luminous. Regardless of what I say about this product, based on its specifications, it sounds like you're going to be getting an amazing toilet seat cover. I just wonder how you'll contain the excitement of getting to use it for another five months.
4.) Bulk Stick on Googly Eyes
5.) Magic Traveling Pillow
The description of this item states that it is made of foam, which is a good thing since anyone who finds nothing wrong with wearing a pillow around their face in public is probably the same type of person who shouldn't be around hard surfaces or sharp objects without some sort of protective foam gear. 4 stars for the low price of just $13.90 though.
Take this time now to gather your thoughts and/or purchase these wonderful items for your very own weird collection. When you're ready continue on to the second half of this list here.
